Do you really need to deal with childhood trauma? If repression has worked for you so far (31!), can’t you just stick with it?
This question is brought to you by the fact my best friend and his wife are planning to start a family. So a bunch of us were sitting around over Last Hurrah drinks and telling funny stories about our childhood. I told them the one about the time I was 8 when my dad dug a hole in the scrub behind our house, woke me up in the middle of the night, took me out and made me stand in it, and said “if you don’t behave, this is where I’ll bury you.” And I was all “and every year the idiot had to go out and make the hole bigger.”
It turns out that isn’t funny, which I did pick up on as I was talking. If you think about it then it was actually kind of awful, or “abusive” as my friend’s wife put it. I felt dumber than my Dad out in the rain digging a bigger hole every year.
Amy, who I have dated for all of two months and now knows I spent most of my life thinking that was just Dad Jokes, thinks I need therapy. I think I need to just cut off everyone I know and move. That is kind of a joke, and kind of true. I just feel like some sort of pitiable idiot right now, and I don’t want to talk to anyone who knows about this. So I don’t see how more people knowing about more of my awful childhood (because I’ve thought up at least three other things I never questioned that are clearly sort of abusive looking back, or actually abusive if it was to someone else) is going to make me feel better.
Obviously, people need to deal with trauma that causes them pain, but I was fine when this was all a secret! Isn’t digging all this stuff up just to see more like those people that get their legs broken so they can try and get three more inches in height?
— Bury It All