Classic: Ignore the obit and name your kid-to-be whatever you choose.

mrsconn23

My spouse and I are expecting a child in early spring. This is particularly joyous, as we struggled with infertility for many years. Unfortunately, there was a recent death in the family. My in-laws included our unborn little one in the obituary—and they also included a name. The problem is that we haven’t named our little one…

missJeanLouise

DH told his whole family the DS was going to be Benjamin Samuel (or something like that). DS's initials are JH. So really, ignore the obit, name the kid what you want.

banana468

Considering they named your child without consulting you I wouldn't give them any response.  If anyone questions it just call it a newspaper typo because of course the baby wasn't named yet and you know you weren't consulted. 

short+sassy

Last I checked, obituary notices weren't legal documents.  This is a non-issue.

Name your baby whatever you want.  It's unlikely anyone would ask.  If they do, I'd just say the ILs jumped the gun on the name for the obit.

charlotte989875

Ignore them and name your kid whatever you want. If people ask you about it just say you have no idea where other name came from. 

Casadena

I'd spend a lot of time bitching with H/SILs/BIL about how ridiculous H's parents are for sure but wouldn't say anything to them and would absolutely name our child whatever we want.  

MissKittyDanger

Never do that for multiple reasons.
My aunt was suppose to be named Wendy Kim - she was born and according to my nana "Looked zero like a Wendy. Zero like a Kim."

People change names.

short+sassy

MissKittyDanger said:

Never do that for multiple reasons.
My aunt was suppose to be named Wendy Kim - she was born and according to my nana "Looked zero like a Wendy. Zero like a Kim."

People change names.

I might not understand because I've never been a mother.

But babies look like...babies, lol.  I don't understand how they can "look" or "not look like", any particular name.

I guess I also don't have "pictures" in my mind of what someone with a particular name looks like, so that probably doesn't help either, lol.

charlotte989875

short+sassy said:

MissKittyDanger said:

Never do that for multiple reasons.
My aunt was suppose to be named Wendy Kim - she was born and according to my nana "Looked zero like a Wendy. Zero like a Kim."

People change names.

I might not understand because I've never been a mother.

But babies look like...babies, lol.  I don't understand how they can "look" or "not look like", any particular name.

I guess I also don't have "pictures" in my mind of what someone with a particular name looks like, so that probably doesn't help either, lol.

It’s more like a feeling than a look. 

I know a lot of folks had an idea of what they wanted to name their kid but when they were born just didn’t feel like it fit them. 

That said- we knew what we wanted to name him and we did. 

Casadena

short+sassy said:

MissKittyDanger said:

Never do that for multiple reasons.
My aunt was suppose to be named Wendy Kim - she was born and according to my nana "Looked zero like a Wendy. Zero like a Kim."

People change names.

I might not understand because I've never been a mother.

But babies look like...babies, lol.  I don't understand how they can "look" or "not look like", any particular name.

I guess I also don't have "pictures" in my mind of what someone with a particular name looks like, so that probably doesn't help either, lol.

I think it depends on the person.  There is no way H and I could have possibly picked a name before we actually met our kid.  It's definitely a feeling - we had loooong lists for both boys with frontrunners that got vetoed immediately after we saw them!  SIL/BIL had one boy and one girl name picked out when she was like 7 weeks pregnant.  Everyone is different for sure!

short+sassy

@charlotte989875, @Casadena, thanks for more examples.

I can understand a "feeling".

I remember Charlotte is your cat's name, @charlotte989875.  But that has always been one of my favorite girl names.  I named my first Cabbage Patch Kid, Charlotte.  I still have her, lol.

charlotte989875

short+sassy said:

@charlotte989875, @Casadena, thanks for more examples.

I can understand a "feeling".

I remember Charlotte is your cat's name, @charlotte989875.  But that has always been one of my favorite girl names.  I named my first Cabbage Patch Kid, Charlotte.  I still have her, lol.

It is my car, and it was her name when I adopted her, but it suits her! 

(Ignore our half finished stairs)

MissKittyDanger

charlotte989875 said:

short+sassy said:

MissKittyDanger said:

Never do that for multiple reasons.
My aunt was suppose to be named Wendy Kim - she was born and according to my nana "Looked zero like a Wendy. Zero like a Kim."

People change names.

I might not understand because I've never been a mother.

But babies look like...babies, lol.  I don't understand how they can "look" or "not look like", any particular name.

I guess I also don't have "pictures" in my mind of what someone with a particular name looks like, so that probably doesn't help either, lol.

It’s more like a feeling than a look. 

I know a lot of folks had an idea of what they wanted to name their kid but when they were born just didn’t feel like it fit them. 

That said- we knew what we wanted to name him and we did. 

So in my aunt's case it was look - she came out with dark hair, etc.

I think my nana thought "Wendy" and was thinking more Peter Pan vibes - who had light hair, etc

My aunt's current name actually suits her, because she's never been a "Wendy" kind of person.

MissKittyDanger

Casadena said:

short+sassy said:

MissKittyDanger said:

Never do that for multiple reasons.
My aunt was suppose to be named Wendy Kim - she was born and according to my nana "Looked zero like a Wendy. Zero like a Kim."

People change names.

I might not understand because I've never been a mother.

But babies look like...babies, lol.  I don't understand how they can "look" or "not look like", any particular name.

I guess I also don't have "pictures" in my mind of what someone with a particular name looks like, so that probably doesn't help either, lol.

I think it depends on the person.  There is no way H and I could have possibly picked a name before we actually met our kid.  It's definitely a feeling - we had loooong lists for both boys with frontrunners that got vetoed immediately after we saw them!  SIL/BIL had one boy and one girl name picked out when she was like 7 weeks pregnant.  Everyone is different for sure!

Yes this!!

We started a list of names for BK when I was pregnant and before we knew gender just so we knew what we both liked.
Then closer to gender reveal, we started narrowing down names.

Luckily BK was a girl - her name really jumped out at us - because M & I could not agree on a boy name at all.
Pretty sure if BK was a boy, we would have waited to officially name him until after I'd given birth.

banana468

We settled on the names for the kids before they were born but there were definitely times in a postpartum fog with Chiquita that I debated if we made a mistake.  

Casadena

@banana468 I did this too!  I called G by a totally different name in my head for the first few weeks of his life.  

@MissKittyDanger we're the opposite, I don't know how we would have ever landed on a girl name!!!

MissKittyDanger

banana468 said:

We settled on the names for the kids before they were born but there were definitely times in a postpartum fog with Chiquita that I debated if we made a mistake.  

That would have been me if we had a boy.
We "settled" on Wesley if BK was a boy, and honestly I still question if we would have kept it.

ILoveBeachMusic

For DD we picked out a girl's and boy's name but I really felt like I was having a girl. The opposite was true of DS1 and DS2. For DD we were originally going to call her a nickname for her full first name but after she was born we decided she didn't look like that nickname so she goes by her full name except SIL calls her a different nickname (which I don't like but he's her H).