Dear Prudence,
I have two nieces, “Sara” and “Sally.” Sally was very sick as a child and her parents naturally focused on her the most. The problem was even when she got better, the dynamic never changed. Sara was always the afterthought in her family. I tried to make up for it when Sara was a child and spend more time with her, but it was never quite enough. Sara has been in low-contact with her parents and sister since college. Sara got a scholarship but had to take out loans; her parents paid for Sally to go to a private university. Their logic was Sally needed more help because her early sickness hampered her education in ways Sara never had to suffer. Sara has confided in me that she is engaged but plans to elope without informing her parents or sister. She wants me to be there.
I can’t fault Sara for her feelings, but I am afraid that this course of action will permanently put a rift between her and the rest of the family. I know it will put one between my sister and me. I love Sara and want to be supportive, but as blind as my sister can be, she is my last sibling. Our parents died three years ago, and we lost both our brothers last year. What should I do?
— Only Aunt