How do I fire my maid of honor?

v1v10121

So I got engaged more than a year ago and as soon as I got engaged I asked one of my closest friend (or I thought) to be my maid of honor. She seemed excited to be a part of the wedding but ever since I asked her I haven't heard from her since. A year has passed, my birthday and nothing. So how do I fire her if she decides to call 3 months before the wedding? HELP?

tidetravel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_fire-maid-of-honor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:fc2c6e2d-29ac-4690-808d-be79a5666bb7Post:f2099edc-2f7e-4c37-933f-e0bbfd3dddc5">How do I fire my maid of honor?</a>:
[QUOTE]So I got engaged more than a year ago and as soon as I got engaged I asked one of my closest friend (or I thought) to be my maid of honor. She seemed excited to be a part of the wedding but ever since I asked her I haven't heard from her since. A year has passed, my birthday and nothing. So how do I fire her if she decides to call 3 months before the wedding? HELP?
Posted by v1v10121[/QUOTE]

You learn to read the FAQs at the top of the page.

frogurt814

Have you tried calling her/talking to her? 

Licia&Wayne

Um, don't?

Follow Tide's advice, and if that doesn't apply to you, come back with more details and chances are you're still going to get a "don't", but at least we'll all know the full story.

Beachy730

Call her into your "office" for a meeting and supply her with a task list of MOH duties and one by one tell her everyone that she failed to complete.  Then finish it by saying you're fired.  

trix1223

Here's a newsflash:  your wedding is, and should be very important to you.  It's just not all that important to anyone else.  And yes, that includes your WP. 

Have you called your friend just to talk about the Survivor finale?  The latest Youtube video?  Whatever you used to talk about before you had a ring on your finger?  Friendships work in both directions, after all.

So what, other than not call you, has she done that warrants publicly humiliating her by kicking her to the curb?

tidetravel

Trix - I have to say, the Survivor finale was AWESOME.  The jury made the right choice, for once.

mbcdefg

By not issuing her a paycheck.

If you don't pay her, then she's not "fired."

emilyinchile

Look, you're going to need some rope, a shovel and a night with no moon. It's the only way to get away with it without witnesses.










Seriously though, you haven't talked once in a year? Funny, if I haven't heard from a friend in a while I send them an e-mail or call. I don't just let 365 days go by without checking to make sure they aren't dead.

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_fire-maid-of-honor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:fc2c6e2d-29ac-4690-808d-be79a5666bb7Post:7cef9309-f863-4ed4-bb17-d084fb1bad1a">Re: How do I fire my maid of honor?</a>:
[QUOTE]Look, you're going to need some rope, a shovel and a night with no moon. It's the only way to get away with it without witnesses. Seriously though, you haven't talked once in a year? Funny, if I haven't heard from a friend in a while I send them an e-mail or call. I don't just let 365 days go by without checking to make sure they aren't dead.
Posted by emilyinchile[/QUOTE]

<div>But Emily, she is the bride.  She shouldn't have to contact ANYONE from the day she gets engaged to the day she gets married, because everyone should want to talk to her and be calling and emailing her, the bride. </div>

Meredith5683

Oh jeez get ready for an earful. This isn't a wedding related problem, this is about friendship. It sounds like you haven't tried to call or visit her either. Why don't you try to salvage the relationship instead of worrying about your wedding, which is probably the reason that she hasn't called. If every time you speak to her you make it about your "big day" she's going to get tired of it real fast. No one's going to be as excited about your wedding as you and your FI are, so remember she's got her own life to live. Call her up, invite her out to lunch, and without anything wedding related, ask her how she's been. Go from there. Also, this is the biggest reason not to ask your BP further than 6 or so months out, relationships change.

SSaltzman87

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_fire-maid-of-honor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:fc2c6e2d-29ac-4690-808d-be79a5666bb7Post:7032059c-e925-4e5f-9a1c-39114163e4e2">Re: How do I fire my maid of honor?</a>:
[QUOTE]By not issuing her a paycheck. If you don't pay her, then she's not "fired."
Posted by mbcdefg[/QUOTE]

Egg-sactly. What on earth does she have to do now in preparation for your wedding? Being MOH isn't a job, it's an honor. She's not unpaid labor, nor is she a contracted employee.

This further supports a phrase that gets said a lot on here, "No one will ever be as excited for your wedding as you are"

deepcovejackie

You don't.

lalap69

Why haven't you talked to her in a year?  I assume you're not somehow physically incapable of picking up the phone and calling HER?

garcias1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_fire-maid-of-honor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:fc2c6e2d-29ac-4690-808d-be79a5666bb7Post:6cd3d2f2-e005-4f1d-9a86-e855d336fb5d">Re: How do I fire my maid of honor?</a>:
[QUOTE]Why haven't you talked to her in a year?  I assume you're not somehow physically incapable of picking up the phone and calling HER?
Posted by lalap69[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I love how it's the friend's fault for falling out of contact.  OP, unless you tried to contact her multiple times to no avail, then you are as much to blame as she is.  It takes two to make a friendship.

kristinmc8

If I haven't heard from someone in a year I don't really consider them to be a friend, but with that being said the phone works both way, so I'm not sure why you haven't tried to contact her as well. I'm not sure if there was something that happened because you didn't say that, but I don't think you should kick her out because you haven't heard from her. I'd call her and see if there is something wrong (she may honestly just be busy, especially if she is in school or working or has kids, etc.). Concentrate on the friendship at this point, not the wedding/wedding party.

v1v10121

I tried calling guys but she has been too busy with her part time job and new friends. So maybe she wasnt a real friend arent friends supposed to be there for each other. Im not gonna beg the girl to come hang out. I tried calling setting up lunch dates like we used to or just to hang out at my apt. but she always comes up with a lame excuse. 

deepcovejackie

Ok, so do you think that the time frame of the friendship problem coincided with the wedding planning?