Wednesday that feels like a Thursday?

CharmedPam

Or is it just me who’s a day off?

I’m sad today.  SIL is still in the hospital and experiencing issues going through her first round of chemo.  Mom sent me a picture of my nephew with his principal, since the grandparents are switching school drop off days. And I’m just so sad that my bro and SIL aren’t experiencing this normal every day thing.  They were there for his first day of school, which I know is one of the important ones, but they’re missing out on these special moments.
  🖕🏻Cancer. 

Yesterday was date #3.  And no kiss. What gives? I even was insistant that I drop him off to his car so we could with no one watching (I also hate PDA’s) and nothing. Usually I’m full on making out by date #2! I thought he’d probably stop talking to me because we sat down in the imax theater for Bullet Train and then I remembered that the seats don’t recline….and I’m like “ummm you’re probably going to think I’m a snob but I can’t sit upright for 2.5 hours…. Can we see another movie?” Literally ANY other theater has the comfy recliners.  I have a BAD back (if you recall I special ordered an office chair because of it).  I might not sleep through all my movies, but I like to know the option is there.  So anyway, we moved over to “Nope”.  Don’t waste your money.  It was not one of Peele’s best peices of work. But I thought my date would think that was such a princess move and most people would just put up with it for 2.5 hours… But he’s still talking to me this morning so he can’t be all that turned off by it.

charlotte989875

I also hoped it was Thursday. Working from home, with the toddler today, and that’s fun. He’s made an appearance in one meeting and about to join another. People will just have to deal. H has a really big meeting with a really big boss, like right now. Fingers crossed it goes well! 

CharmedPam

@charlotte989875 I bet you make the meetings fun!

Casadena

I had a horribly realistic dream last night that H cheated on me and had been doing it in our house which is why he had been moving downstairs in the middle of the night (he does this occasionally IRL bc of his back).  Then i came down one night too and thought the vibe was weird, then found her in a closet in our office - 7 months pregnant.  In the dream he filed for divorce the next day and had secretly been hoarding money away for years and somehow managed to clean me out and get the house. 

So that's been fun dealing with emotionally today even though it wasn't real.  Trying not to be mad at him or anxious in real life.  Dreams really fuck you up sometimes.  Hope yours are getting better @VarunaTT

G has an appointment downtown tomorrow.  I need to start seeing my therapist again, but i've been dealing with huge amounts of guilt about how little time we get to spend with N since he's at daycare everyday and right now G's needs are often more immediate so N ends up surprised with just one of us or grandparents/aunts at the last minute.  I know it's right and what we need to do right now, but it's super hard.   

Work is boring and i'm unenthusiastic about all of it.  Wah wah

MyNameIsNot

Well I'm happy that it's Wednesday and I'm finally poking in. Although I guess Thursday (or even Friday) would be better. 

It's been kind of an eventful few days with a lot of random ups and downs. Today's up: I went back to my surgeon for my 6 week post-op follow up and got the all clear to do all the things. So tonight is impromptu date night.

Also, I went for a jog this morning. It was hard after 7 weeks off! My sister and I had a few glasses of wine and signed up for a half marathon this spring, so I guess I have 6 months to get my shit together. 

Now I'm wondering what's going to happen with this half-assed student loan bandaid. 

STARMOON44

I hope the student loan forgiveness helps people in need and I hope it helps the party on Election Day. 

CharmedPam

Dreams really can fuck you up! I don’t have them about SO’s anymore (fortunately) but the ones where I sell my house to live in an even shitter place always get me.  I’m like. Whhhhhhhy? Why did I move when I had it all? Lol.  But anyway, sorry yours was so surreal.  Do you talk to H when those happen? 

Yay for getting the all clear @MyNameIsNot

and yes thinking of you @VarunaTT

climbingsingle

@Casadena I had a very realistic dream last night that N broke up with me. So weird. 

@CharmedPam I'm so sorry for your SIL and BIL. Also I absolutely kissed N on our first date and then said "Ok, we got that out of the way". In my defense, we'd known each other for so long that it felt awkward and I needed to power through

SSDD here. At work. Don't want to be. And I can't seem to make up my mind about anything. At first I was happy about having nothing to do this weekend, but now I'm looking up events we can go to. 

kerbohl

@Casadena That is a ridiculously horrible dream!  Yes, they can definitely mess you up.  I'm sorry you are feeling so guilty as well - even though you are doing everything you can, I'm sure it is still hard.

@CharmedPam I'm disappointed to hear that about Nope.  But maybe, the other ones were just so good that the expectations are high?  I really liked "Us", but maybe because of all the rabbits.  I mean, I know that they are eating all the rabbits and that is horrific, but I did enjoy the unexpected fluffy white rabbit throughout the movie.

Renos continue, my kitchen looks very empty.  They cleared out of the cupboards yesterday, and today they are removing the backsplash off the wall and the floor.  It is satisfying to hear all the banging and knowing that stuff is getting done.  I was thinking of taking pictures every day of the process, but didn't take one last night.  

missJeanLouise

@CharmedPam can you kiss him?

CharmedPam

missJeanLouise said:

@CharmedPam can you kiss him?

What if he doesn’t want to? What it he thinks he’s on friends. com? 🤣 I think, if we see each other again, I’ll have to be the initiater because if he’s bad at it, we’re not going any further. But I am NOT bold like that!  

@kerbohl I really liked Us too.  More so than Get Out, and most people like that one more.  The concept of your evil doppelgänger out there….That’s scary! I hope at least evil CharmedPam is getting some….

short+sassy

@CharmedPam, I know you aren't comfortable physically making the first move, but you should talk to him about it.  Something casual like, "I've really enjoyed our dates but, couldn't help but notice you've never tried to kiss me.  What's up with that?  I just want to make sure we're on the same page."

@charlotte989875, but isn't that one of the silver linings of the pandemic?  All those funny videos of animals or children making unexpected appearances on Zoom meetings, lol.

@Casadena, that is a horrible dream!  I hate when they are so real, that you're angry at your SO, even though you know logically they didn't do anything wrong.

I made an impromptu appointment to give a blood donation after work.  They have an online "gift shop" where you can buy things, when you've earned enough points.  I will earn enough points with this visit to get a $10 gift card (lots of store/restaurant choices).  I need to remember to cut back on the caffeine this afternoon, because that sometimes causes my iron to drop too low.

I haven't donated blood with this particular organization in years, because they super pissed me off by pscho-calling me for months. Usually it was auto-calls.  I'd call the local office to be put on their DNC list.  The calls would stop for about two weeks. And then they would start up again.  I'm not sure why blocking their number didn't work. I finally contacted the national headquarters and, whatever they did, worked.  But I was too nervous to every donate blood with them again and possibly set the trigger for the avalanche of calls again.

I don't know why I didn't think of this before.  When I logged in to set up my appointment, I changed my phone number to a phone number that came from a spam caller, lol.

I am B-, which is the second rarest blood type, so I especially feel an obligation to donate.

short+sassy

I don't have any student loans, but was curious about what it entailed since it will affect so many people.

It sounds pretty great. $10K forgiveness for federal loans on undergrad degrees.  But what sounds even better, and will also benefit future students, is a 5% cap on loan payments vs. monthly income, and no interest added to the loan principal as long as monthly payments are made.

I hope it gives a lot of people more breathing room.

charlotte989875

short+sassy said:

I don't have any student loans, but was curious about what it entailed since it will affect so many people.

It sounds pretty great. $10K forgiveness for federal loans on undergrad degrees.  But what sounds even better, and will also benefit future students, is a 5% cap on loan payments vs. monthly income, and no interest added to the loan principal as long as monthly payments are made.

I hope it gives a lot of people more breathing room.

$10k doesn’t even cover my yearly interest on my loans so I’m probably in the minority here, but it won’t do much for a lot of folks (depending on interest rates/ balances). I think the 5% will make the bigger impact though. 

short+sassy

charlotte989875 said:

short+sassy said:

I don't have any student loans, but was curious about what it entailed since it will affect so many people.

It sounds pretty great. $10K forgiveness for federal loans on undergrad degrees.  But what sounds even better, and will also benefit future students, is a 5% cap on loan payments vs. monthly income, and no interest added to the loan principal as long as monthly payments are made.

I hope it gives a lot of people more breathing room.

$10k doesn’t even cover my yearly interest on my loans so I’m probably in the minority here, but it won’t do much for a lot of folks (depending on interest rates/ balances). I think the 5% will make the bigger impact though. 

But it also includes no more interest added to the balance, as long as the monthly payments are made.

Totally agree.  A free $10K is always nice.  But it's the 5% cap and the no more interest added that seem like the real game changers to me.

The interest, if people are making minimum payments, hardly makes a dent in the principal for long-term loans.  A lot of people in the comments were talking about it's the interest that has really been killing them, because their loan has hardly gone down.  I see the same thing on my home loan.

I have since found out it is a $20K forgiveness for anyone who ever had a Pell grant.

There are also income maximums.  People need to make less than $125K single, $250K joint.

ei34

Ugh what an awful, vividly detailed dream @Casadena...dreams are the worst sometimes
That really is sad @CharmedPam, how scary for everyone

Took the kids to the local Hall of Science earlier but back home (at my parents' house) now.  I love my parents and my kids love them and they love us, but moving in with them has been tough.  We officially moved in August 2nd, and we went to NH for a week and then my parents went up the day we were driving down, so today is actually only the 10th day we've been under the same roof, but it's putting a bit of a strain on all of the adults.  We at peak relationship when we see each other 1-2x a week but have our own homes.  I told stbxh repeatedly that he has to be out by the start of the school year, which is next week...really hoping he does vacate soon.  The kids have counseling at 4:45 so we'll be out of the house again from 4-6:30ish, depending on traffic, I'm giving myself kuddos for giving my parents more free time without us around while wishing for a day to just sit around and relax and let the kids just veg in front of the TV in air conditioning all day...

edit spelling

short+sassy

ei34 said:

Ugh what an awful, vividly detailed dream @Casadena...dreams are the worst sometimes
That really is sad @CharmedPam, how scary for everyone

Took the kids to the local Hall of Science earlier but back home (at my parents' house) now.  I love my parents and my kids love them and they love us, but moving in with them has been tough.  We officially moved in August 2nd, and we went to NH for a week and then my parents went up the day we were driving down, so today is actually only the 10th day we've been under the same roof, but it's putting a bit of a strain on all of the adults.  We at peak relationship when we see each other 1-2x a week but have our own homes.  I told stbxh repeatedly that he has to be out by the start of the school year, which is next week...really hoping he does vacate soon.  The kids have counseling at 4:45 so we'll be out of the house again from 4-6:30ish, depending on traffic, I'm giving myself kuddos for giving my parents more free time without us around while wishing for a day to just sit around and relax and let the kids just veg in front of the TV in air conditioning all day...

edit spelling

I'm sorry you are still going through all of this.  It has been so long.  I hear ya.  My mom and her H are awesome people, tidy, and pleasant to be around.  But I wouldn't want to live with them for long periods of time and I'm sure the feeling is mutual, lol.

Was your stbxh supposed to sign the divorce papers this last Saturday or this coming Saturday?  I'd hope for the comfort of his own children he would finally leave the house, but he just doesn't sound like that kind of guy anymore.

One of my favorite Judge Judy-isms, "Don't hate each other more than you love your kids."  (directed at him, not you)

mrsconn23

Hi, almost the end of the day for me.  

I can't even log-in to DH's student loan provider's website to see anything.  I'll give it a few days.  I think they're either down or making updates.  It will definitely help us, but I still think it's not far enough to really help the people who need the assistance.  It's also  not really addressing the high cost of going to college here in the US in the first place, especially since we have so many 'public' universities.  Plus, interest should be almost nothing on student loans.  The 5% cap is better than before, but it really should be like 1-1.5% or 0%.  The government owns a large majority of student debt, so this is something...but not enough IMO.  

So sad about your SIL @CharmedPam.  Ugh to your STBXH @ei34.

Had our big all team meeting today.  Had to give a spiel on my team and it was nerve-wracking.  But overall went well, I think.  

SSDD otherwise.  The weather has been excellent this week.  

short+sassy

mrsconn23 said:

Hi, almost the end of the day for me.  

I can't even log-in to DH's student loan provider's website to see anything.  I'll give it a few days.  I think they're either down or making updates.  It will definitely help us, but I still think it's not far enough to really help the people who need the assistance.  It's also  not really addressing the high cost of going to college here in the US in the first place, especially since we have so many 'public' universities.  Plus, interest should be almost nothing on student loans.  The 5% cap is better than before, but it really should be like 1-1.5% or 0%.  The government owns a large majority of student debt, so this is something...but not enough IMO.  

So sad about your SIL @CharmedPam.  Ugh to your STBXH @ei34.

Had our big all team meeting today.  Had to give a spiel on my team and it was nerve-wracking.  But overall went well, I think.  

SSDD otherwise.  The weather has been excellent this week.  

This isn't referring to interest.  It's referring to that a person's monthly student loan payment (for federal loans) will not exceed 5% of their monthly income.

But I was surprised to learn that, even for federal loans, the interest rate in the past could be pretty high.  That is wrong.  I can see charging 1-2% interest rates to pay for the administrative costs of the program(s).  But the US government shouldn't be profiting off of it's citizens bettering themselves by getting a higher education.

MyNameIsNot

charlotte989875 said:

short+sassy said:

I don't have any student loans, but was curious about what it entailed since it will affect so many people.

It sounds pretty great. $10K forgiveness for federal loans on undergrad degrees.  But what sounds even better, and will also benefit future students, is a 5% cap on loan payments vs. monthly income, and no interest added to the loan principal as long as monthly payments are made.

I hope it gives a lot of people more breathing room.

$10k doesn’t even cover my yearly interest on my loans so I’m probably in the minority here, but it won’t do much for a lot of folks (depending on interest rates/ balances). I think the 5% will make the bigger impact though. 

I think I'm in the same boat. I have higher loans because of grad school. It's the interest that kills. I have paid on my fed loans for nearly 10 years but still owe more than I borrowed because of compounding interest and "taking advantage" of an income dependent program. 

I recognize that this will help some people who really need it, but I wish it did more for people that are really drowning. Personally, I'd like to see the bankruptcy exclusion lifted. Obviously you'd have to put some caveats so that you don't have a bunch of people filing the day after they graduate, but it should be an option for people who get in way too deep and have no way of getting out. 

ei34

short+sassy said:

ei34 said:

Ugh what an awful, vividly detailed dream @Casadena...dreams are the worst sometimes
That really is sad @CharmedPam, how scary for everyone

Took the kids to the local Hall of Science earlier but back home (at my parents' house) now.  I love my parents and my kids love them and they love us, but moving in with them has been tough.  We officially moved in August 2nd, and we went to NH for a week and then my parents went up the day we were driving down, so today is actually only the 10th day we've been under the same roof, but it's putting a bit of a strain on all of the adults.  We at peak relationship when we see each other 1-2x a week but have our own homes.  I told stbxh repeatedly that he has to be out by the start of the school year, which is next week...really hoping he does vacate soon.  The kids have counseling at 4:45 so we'll be out of the house again from 4-6:30ish, depending on traffic, I'm giving myself kuddos for giving my parents more free time without us around while wishing for a day to just sit around and relax and let the kids just veg in front of the TV in air conditioning all day...

edit spelling

I'm sorry you are still going through all of this.  It has been so long.  I hear ya.  My mom and her H are awesome people, tidy, and pleasant to be around.  But I wouldn't want to live with them for long periods of time and I'm sure the feeling is mutual, lol.

Was your stbxh supposed to sign the divorce papers this last Saturday or this coming Saturday?  I'd hope for the comfort of his own children he would finally leave the house, but he just doesn't sound like that kind of guy anymore.

One of my favorite Judge Judy-isms, "Don't hate each other more than you love your kids."  (directed at him, not you)

I truly madly deeply love my kids.  If I just regular-loved them I'd definitely hate him more than I love them  I'll always love them more than hating him, but, I'm definitely at the point where if it was his year for Thanksgiving or Christmas, and he offered me to join them, I'd decline, just to not have to spend an extra few hours with him.

He was originally signing the final paperwork 8/17 and turning himself in at the precinct Fri 8/19.  He called the detective and was able to move the turn in to 8/27 and he's allegedly signing the papers 8/29?  We'll see.  I don't want him in major trouble with the law, I just want an official cease of harassment and/or an order of protection.

levioosa

I have to look into the student loans. I’ve been drowning at my new job and I’ve worked 45 hours in 3 days. I make over the limit, and it is a real shame it’s not based in cost of living because we could live the good life in, say, Kansas, but barely meet lower middle class here. My current student loan repayment plan is 10% of my income. So does that mean it’s getting lowered to 5%? Help me knotties, my brain is fried and I don’t have the energy to research. I’m happy for the $10k but that literally doesn’t even make a noticeable dent for me. 

Thinking of you @varunatt. *hugs*

Thinking of you, too @ei34 and I hope you’re doing okay. 

Work is kicking my ass. I came in Monday and got slammed with 35 patients in 8 hours. I begged them to slow down the schedule and it got a little better yesterday. Today was pretty good until I had 5 patients walk in at 4:15 (we close at 5) and one was a “wtf why are you here and please stop arguing with me” patient. I mean, a bunch of those were around today but the lord was really testing me by making it a final patient when I should have been driving home. 

I’m getting pretty anxious about exercise. I’ve been waking up at 6:30, and going to work by 8, coming home at 7, and then charting until midnight. I haven’t been able to eat, I haven’t been able to drink water or even pee at work. I’ve had zero time to myself or to recharge. Typing all of this out is the biggest “me” break I’ve had all week. I know it will (hopefully) get better with time but this is rough. The staff asked me please not to leave….so I’m not hopeful. 

*EF: Monday, not Sunday. I’m so burned out I don’t even know what day it is. 

charlotte989875

levioosa said:

I have to look into the student loans. I’ve been drowning at my new job and I’ve worked 45 hours in 3 days. I make over the limit, and it is a real shame it’s not based in cost of living because we could live the good life in, say, Kansas, but barely meet lower middle class here. My current student loan repayment plan is 10% of my income. So does that mean it’s getting lowered to 5%? Help me knotties, my brain is fried and I don’t have the energy to research. I’m happy for the $10k but that literally doesn’t even make a noticeable dent for me. 

Thinking of you @varunatt. *hugs*

Thinking of you, too @ei34 and I hope you’re doing okay. 

Work is kicking my ass. I came in Monday and got slammed with 35 patients in 8 hours. I begged them to slow down the schedule and it got a little better yesterday. Today was pretty good until I had 5 patients walk in at 4:15 (we close at 5) and one was a “wtf why are you here and please stop arguing with me” patient. I mean, a bunch of those were around today but the lord was really testing me by making it a final patient when I should have been driving home. 

I’m getting pretty anxious about exercise. I’ve been waking up at 6:30, and going to work by 8, coming home at 7, and then charting until midnight. I haven’t been able to eat, I haven’t been able to drink water or even pee at work. I’ve had zero time to myself or to recharge. Typing all of this out is the biggest “me” break I’ve had all week. I know it will (hopefully) get better with time but this is rough. The staff asked me please not to leave….so I’m not hopeful. 

*EF: Monday, not Sunday. I’m so burned out I don’t even know what day it is. 

Here’s the basics because it is confusing!

- If you make $125k individual or $250k combined in 2021/2020 returns you qualify for $10 relief or $20k if you were a Pell grant recipient. 

- For undergraduate loans: you now will not pay more than 5% of income (lowered from 10) but appears this doesn’t apply to graduate loan that proposed cap is 10%. 

- For people on a income driven payment if your payment is less than the monthly interest you accrue the extra interest will no longer be added to the balance, it will be paid by the federal government. 

This applies to almost all types of loans (Plus loans, parent plus, loans in deferent or in default). 

jfawkes

I am happy for those that will benefit from the student loan forgiveness but a little sad for my circumstance. My federal student loans were over 7% interest and after paying on them for 5 years not even making a dent because of interest, my husband and I decided to refinance. My loans are now private with a 4.5% interest rate. We are now on track to pay them off in 5 more years. I knew I was giving up the protection of federal loans but with my Husband and I both in stable careers it seemed the logical financial decision to make. I never dreamed something like this would be on the table.

But that's the way the cookie crumbles sometimes. The thing that is really annoying me is my brother who has been extremely financially irresponsible is going to benefit. He has been employed all through the pandemic and took the money he would have been spending on his student loans when the pause was placed and went on multiple vacations and cruises, ect. Now he will have 10k wiped while I have been paying all this time.  Le sigh.

STARMOON44

short+sassy said:

mrsconn23 said:

Hi, almost the end of the day for me.  

I can't even log-in to DH's student loan provider's website to see anything.  I'll give it a few days.  I think they're either down or making updates.  It will definitely help us, but I still think it's not far enough to really help the people who need the assistance.  It's also  not really addressing the high cost of going to college here in the US in the first place, especially since we have so many 'public' universities.  Plus, interest should be almost nothing on student loans.  The 5% cap is better than before, but it really should be like 1-1.5% or 0%.  The government owns a large majority of student debt, so this is something...but not enough IMO.  

So sad about your SIL @CharmedPam.  Ugh to your STBXH @ei34.

Had our big all team meeting today.  Had to give a spiel on my team and it was nerve-wracking.  But overall went well, I think.  

SSDD otherwise.  The weather has been excellent this week.  

This isn't referring to interest.  It's referring to that a person's monthly student loan payment (for federal loans) will not exceed 5% of their monthly income.

But I was surprised to learn that, even for federal loans, the interest rate in the past could be pretty high.  That is wrong.  I can see charging 1-2% interest rates to pay for the administrative costs of the program(s).  But the US government shouldn't be profiting off of it's citizens bettering themselves by getting a higher education.

Most of my loans were at 7.8% at a time when mortgages were barely making 2%. 

jfawkes

Same! And as a dumb 17 year old, I thought doing federal loans meant little to no interest. I am still not sure what lead me to believe that but the reality of that high interest was scary as a new graduate.

ILoveBeachMusic

jfawkes said:

Same! And as a dumb 17 year old, I thought doing federal loans meant little to no interest. I am still not sure what lead me to believe that but the reality of that high interest was scary as a new graduate.

Back when I was in college (early 80s) federal loans were low interest. When H and I bought our first house, our mortgage rate was around 18% but my college loan rate was like 3%.

short+sassy

ILoveBeachMusic said:

jfawkes said:

Same! And as a dumb 17 year old, I thought doing federal loans meant little to no interest. I am still not sure what lead me to believe that but the reality of that high interest was scary as a new graduate.

Back when I was in college (early 80s) federal loans were low interest. When H and I bought our first house, our mortgage rate was around 18% but my college loan rate was like 3%.

My parents opened a savings account for me when I was 2, in the mid 70s.  The interest rate on that "little kids" type savings account was 5% for years.

At least houses were cheaper back then in comparison to salaries.  Because those interest rates were scary!

ILoveBeachMusic

short+sassy said:

ILoveBeachMusic said:

jfawkes said:

Same! And as a dumb 17 year old, I thought doing federal loans meant little to no interest. I am still not sure what lead me to believe that but the reality of that high interest was scary as a new graduate.

Back when I was in college (early 80s) federal loans were low interest. When H and I bought our first house, our mortgage rate was around 18% but my college loan rate was like 3%.

My parents opened a savings account for me when I was 2, in the mid 70s.  The interest rate on that "little kids" type savings account was 5% for years.

At least houses were cheaper back then in comparison to salaries.  Because those interest rates were scary!

Yes they were! My H bought a car when he finished grad school (about a year before we got married) and the interest on that was 18% too. I don't think that houses were that much cheaper compared to salaries back them though. That particular house has
 almost tripled in price since then. 

levioosa

Yeah my grad plus loans are 7.3% and also weren’t eligible for the 5% cap I guess. And those are the ones I could buy a house in Southern California with, so I guess I’ll keep with my original plan, which is assume I’ll never pay them off, just do the 10% of my income for 20 years and hope the forgiveness after that point doesn’t get wiped out by some asshole republican president.