Snarky Brides

How close is too close?

My fiancé and I got engaged in March of this year, and where we currently live has limitations on venues due to seasonal weather. My fiancé's sister got engaged in May and will have her second wedding. My FSIL decided to book their venue before us and is planning a wedding in June of 2023. Leaving us with 1 option for a wedding in June, and 1 option in May. We want to get married as soon as possible and that leaves us with one weekend in the month of May. Would it be rude of us to plan our wedding 2 weeks before hers? How close is too close? Do you think she would be upset? My fiancé sees no problem since it is 2-weeks before, he has also expressed this is our first and only wedding, and she's going on her second.

Re: How close is too close?

  • You have one day for your wedding and your FSIL has one day for her wedding. However, I could see someone getting upset with only two weeks difference between siblings' weddings. It really doesn't matter if it is her first or second wedding - she is planning a wedding. I would definitely speak to VIPs (people you really want to have at your wedding) before booking a date. Some of them might not want to travel weekends that are that close which may sway your decision.
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited September 2022
    Realistically, you each get one day. Logistically, the only concern I would have is if people need to travel. If they have a lot of family members that would need to travel long distance, two weeks apart means many people will have to choose one or the other. If there are a lot of family in that situation, I would find another venue that gives you more date options. Otherwise, two weeks is fine.

    Your FI's comments about her second wedding not being as important are really gross and rude. If those got back to his sister, they would be incredibly hurtful. 
  • Have any parents offered any kind of contribution?  Have you asked them what an ideal spacing would be?  The contribution I ask becasue it may come with strings but I also think you should ask them if the logistics could be an issue as well.  

    We made sure that our wedding wasn't close to things like BIL's bar exam or while my mom was teaching.  We did it so people were not going to feel like we were competing for their time.  If you think this could be an issue for them, ask them. 
  • When planning a wedding date, contact your VIP's first for their schedule as one of the two will stand out as the better choice "The venue we're going to book only has these two dates available, which one works better for you?" and go from there.  You/FI get one day and FSIL/F-IL one day.  

  • My fiancé and I got engaged in March of this year, and where we currently live has limitations on venues due to seasonal weather. My fiancé's sister got engaged in May and will have her second wedding. My FSIL decided to book their venue before us and is planning a wedding in June of 2023. Leaving us with 1 option for a wedding in June, and 1 option in May. We want to get married as soon as possible and that leaves us with one weekend in the month of May. Would it be rude of us to plan our wedding 2 weeks before hers? How close is too close? Do you think she would be upset? My fiancé sees no problem since it is 2-weeks before, he has also expressed this is our first and only wedding, and she's going on her second.
    Ditto PPs. And you hope this is your first and only wedding. FI needs to get off his judgy high horse. 


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