Dear Prudence,
My brother-in-law has always been a jackass but since lockdown he has dialed it up to 11, spouting conspiracy theories and trolling people with casual racism and schlock theories. When he learned that my cousin is a trans woman, he turned up at a party in blackface in a zoot suit and insisted that he identified as a “pimp daddy” and that we should all respect “his truth.” My husband immediately threw him out and read him the riot act, which has only encouraged him to double down on this particular provocation. His family is horrified but his parents are old and reluctant to cut him off (he is financially dependent on them) and it is going to be impossible to avoid him completely over the holiday season without upsetting them (he would also view any boycott as a victory). How do we navigate social engagements with this obnoxious fool without sparking a civil war? Should we even try or should we simply give my husband’s family an ultimatum and refuse to be in the same room with him?
—Turn Off the Gaslight