My boyfriend keeps asking me how he should propose and when...

knottieed206bfa0d7e0548

My boyfriend keeps asking me how he should propose and when, I clearly have all of the ideas and any time frame he sees as full is a time frame I view as ample opportunity. I didn't want to plan my own proposal. I didn't even want to know when or how it could happen especially since he is a hopeless romantic. He has ruined four surprises of his own already with this proposal and then becomes discouraged. I had to tell him not to talk to me any more about this and to talk to my friends, literally just sent them my entire December calendar because i don't want to know when it is happening. I gave him my ring (its very sentimental for me) because he had no idea how to take it after all the hints of me lying it around for him. I am really hoping this is all a ploy to throw me off but at this point I don't think so.

I am so excited for the marriage but at this point a proposal seems unnecessary when we both know its coming (and i am planning it unwillingly) and intend to be married very shortly after the engagement. 

charlotte989875

knottieed206bfa0d7e0548 said:

My boyfriend keeps asking me how he should propose and when, I clearly have all of the ideas and any time frame he sees as full is a time frame I view as ample opportunity. I didn't want to plan my own proposal. I didn't even want to know when or how it could happen especially since he is a hopeless romantic. He has ruined four surprises of his own already with this proposal and then becomes discouraged. I had to tell him not to talk to me any more about this and to talk to my friends, literally just sent them my entire December calendar because i don't want to know when it is happening. I gave him my ring (its very sentimental for me) because he had no idea how to take it after all the hints of me lying it around for him. I am really hoping this is all a ploy to throw me off but at this point I don't think so.

I am so excited for the marriage but at this point a proposal seems unnecessary when we both know its coming (and i am planning it unwillingly) and intend to be married very shortly after the engagement. 

That’s tough, admittedly I’d be really annoyed too.  

I have a few questions- did you tell him you wanted it to be a surprise? How did he “ruin” four surprises already? 

Some general thoughts- I believe the proposal (thanks to reality TV, social media, whatever) is overhyped. People feel like it has to be “perfect” and overly planned. But really is how it’s done more important than the getting engaged part? It seems like you both have a lot of expectations here and that life is getting in the way of what’s most important- getting engaged and being married. 

That said- if he asks again I would say something like “I love you, I want to marry you, but I don’t want to plan this. I will love whatever you do and however you ask, but if you want it to be a surprise please stop asking me for input”. Or just say “we’ll I guess you’re asking me to marry you right now, where’s the ring?”