Q. Financial abuse? For nearly 10 years of my marriage, there has been tension due to my spouse’s refusal to abide by a budget. We make enough money for a comfortable lifestyle plus retirement savings, but my spouse enjoys shopping for the sake of it and every month blows through some of the money that should be earmarked for retirement. Right now we are lagging too far behind in our retirement savings to be able to retire at 65, our original goal. We have tried counseling, discussions, and collaborating on budgets. Nothing has worked. This is a constant source of stress for me and I want to separate our finances. The plan is to split everything in our joint accounts 50-50 and from then on maintain separate accounts. I work full time and my spouse works part time at a slightly lower-paying job. This split would mean that their spending money is significantly reduced. My spouse says that my insistence on separating our finances constitutes financial abuse, because they will have less spending money. Do you think I’m being abusive?