Guest list

knottie3c0dd96d88a4ceae

Hi there. Really need advice about a guest list. My fiance has a big family so he is inviting more guests than me. We agreed on 130 people and sent save the dates to 141. My dad has been married multiple times and my Matron of Honor kind of assumed I will invite her mom (dad's 2nd wife) to my wedding. I have no issues with her mom but their divorce was nasty and I'm afraid one or both of them will get drunk and start drama. Plus, I only talk to the mom when I see my MOH. A lot of people are saying how awkward it is to invite an ex step parent. Also, my father was not invite to my MOH small wedding, so I think it's only fair. But I have no guts to have that discussion and say I wasn't planning to invite the mom. And I'm tired of arguing with my fiance about it. But my MOH is very pushy, I don't want to ruin the relationship and also want to avoid the drama. Any advice would be appreciated.

MobKaz

knottie3c0dd96d88a4ceae said:

Hi there. Really need advice about a guest list. My fiance has a big family so he is inviting more guests than me. We agreed on 130 people and sent save the dates to 141. My dad has been married multiple times and my Matron of Honor kind of assumed I will invite her mom (dad's 2nd wife) to my wedding. I have no issues with her mom but their divorce was nasty and I'm afraid one or both of them will get drunk and start drama. Plus, I only talk to the mom when I see my MOH. A lot of people are saying how awkward it is to invite an ex step parent. Also, my father was not invite to my MOH small wedding, so I think it's only fair. But I have no guts to have that discussion and say I wasn't planning to invite the mom. And I'm tired of arguing with my fiance about it. But my MOH is very pushy, I don't want to ruin the relationship and also want to avoid the drama. Any advice would be appreciated.

You are already above the number of guests you initially considered.  If you did not send a STD to your dad’s second wife, you are under no obligation to invite her.  Even though this situation is unique, would you typically invite the parents of other wedding party members? 

Your MOH chose her guest list.  You are entitled to choose your guest list.  Do not extend the invitation.  Your MOH should not really be asking.  If she does, simply tell her your guest list is closed, her mother is not on it, and the discussion is closed. 

banana468

Be honest that the MOH's mom is not invited.  

I'd also beandip any discussions and attempts to want to know why.  She is not owed your thought process. 

knottie3c0dd96d88a4ceae

Thank you for your support. Although her mom did help me and took care of me for a bit earlier in life, I don't really have a relationship with her right now, besides annual birthday wishes.