I feel like the work 'baby'.

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

I’m 24 and early in my career as a librarian, and (perhaps unsurprisingly) most of my co-workers are closer to my parents’ age than my own. I’ve been at one branch for about a year now, and am finding myself increasingly frustrated with one of my co-workers. She has a son who is around my age and I think she sees me as more of a child than a professional equal. When we work at the desk together, she jumps to answer patron questions that are directed at me and insists on doing tasks that I’m more than capable of doing. When I push back she says not to worry about it and that she doesn’t want me to exert myself. I want to have more professional agency and begin taking on more responsibilities, but I’m not sure how to convey this to her or our boss without making it seem like I’m rebelling against her and her many years of experience. Any advice?

—Library Baby

MyNameIsNot

Jump in. Instead of letting her interrupt you, firmly tell her you've got it and start talking to the patron. But also, you need to talk to your manager about this. It's not rebelling to express that someone or something is interfering with your ability to do your job. 

mrsconn23

MyNameIsNot said:

Jump in. Instead of letting her interrupt you, firmly tell her you've got it and start talking to the patron. But also, you need to talk to your manager about this. It's not rebelling to express that someone or something is interfering with your ability to do your job. 

I agree with this.  Prudie missed the mark with the first paragraph, IMO.

Dear Library Baby,

How often do you work on the desk with this particular co-worker? If it’s only once or twice a week, I might encourage you to pick your battles, and just consider those your low-effort days where you’re going to get really caught up on email: “Looks like Thursday’s another day with Gina on the front desk—I’m going to work on the librarian equivalent of side work or bring my knitting/practice perfectly rotating three-dimensional shapes in my mind palace.”

But letting some of it slide doesn’t mean you have to sit in silence if she interrupts you while you’re speaking to a patron. Unless she’s the most self-possessed woman in the world, a calm “Excuse me, but I’m helping someone—please don’t interrupt” should sufficiently remind her of her rudeness to break the habit. The same goes for “I’m not worried [or overexerting myself], but please don’t interrupt me [or take this book/document out of my hands].” Therein lies the distinction, I think, between “pushing back” (which still implies, if only slightly, that she outranks you and has the final vote on your pushback) and “blocking” her.

And if you do need to bring this up with your boss, keep your tone level, and your request for support clear and specific (“I’ve asked Gina not to interrupt me when I’m speaking to patrons on several occasions, but haven’t gotten anywhere. Do you have any suggestions for dealing with this? I haven’t been getting any complaints about my work, so it’s not as if she’s correcting my mistakes”). Position yourself as genial, eager to help, but a little baffled, and it won’t seem like you’re “rebelling” against an authority figure, but a slightly-puzzled worker looking for a little assistance dealing with a confusing colleague.

banana468

IMO try leveling with her a bit and speak up.  You don't need to put her down but advocate for yourself.

There can be a battle at both ages.  When you're younger you don't want to feel like you're not trusted due to a lack of experience and when you're older you don't want to feel cast away for the newer model.  

MyNameIsNot

mrsconn23 said:

MyNameIsNot said:

Jump in. Instead of letting her interrupt you, firmly tell her you've got it and start talking to the patron. But also, you need to talk to your manager about this. It's not rebelling to express that someone or something is interfering with your ability to do your job. 

I agree with this.  Prudie missed the mark with the first paragraph, IMO.

.

Totally agree! Kicking back and letting her go at it sounds easy, but in reality it's likely to get LW framed as slacking or incapable.