Wedding Woes

Follow your instinct.

Dear Prudence, 

How long is too long to wait to meet with long-distance online dating? Is there a polite way to say “let’s either meet up or move on”? I’ve been talking with someone for almost two months and I would like to meet in person (I suggested this and he also seemed interested), but I don’t want to wait around too much longer. If we don’t meet up in person, I won’t be too upset or disappointed, but I also don’t want to be rude or pushy. I think my instinct here would be to say “it’s been nice talking with you, but unless we make a plan to meet up soon, I don’t think this is going to go any further.” Any other ideas?

—Seeking a Partner, Not a Pen Pal

Re: Follow your instinct.

  • Options
    “JohnSteve, let’s make a plan to meet up. Or if not, then this is done for me.”
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    I swear, I don't understand how some people can function on their own. It's an online connection. You don't have to wait around - you should be continuing to make connections and talk to people. But also, if he doesn't respond to your invitation to meet in person or kowtows, then move on. 
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    You're not an asshole, LW.  Do what it is you want to do, say it how you want to, (it's not wrong/bad) and see what happens.  

    The need for validation sometimes is getting really high in these Prudie letters.  I constantly battle a need for validation, but I have friends? who do this for me.
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    So if you asked and they were interested then what happened? Are you expecting them to make plans? If you want to meet up say “I have time off on this weekend, let’s meet up in that location. Does that work? If not what does?” 
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    Suggesting a specific time and/or location to get together may get the ball rolling a little more. If they still aren't responsive, they may not be as interested as you are, so I'd say it's time to wish them well and move on.
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    Sounds like it's been a general "I'd like to meet up in person" with a "yeah, me too" and then nothing goes past that.

    The LW needs to take it a step further and try to make concrete plans.  If the other person starts getting wishy-washy and hesitant, then it's time to move on.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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