Wedding Woes

My ex's jokes are really tiny little stabs to me

Dear Prudence, 

I have a low-stakes question but it’s really starting to bother me. My ex-wife and I are generally on good terms, although we aren’t friends. We co-parent our 12-year-old and work in the same tight-knit profession. Prior to the divorce, we co-created professional creative projects and we’re still involved in the same causes. I’ve done my best to build my own separate world since at least we live in a city, but there’s unavoidable overlap in this situation.

Our marriage ended in 2019 because my ex had a late-in-life coming out and fell in love with a woman. She stated that she was a lesbian and we subsequently divorced. She has since remarried and her wife is a good stepmom to our kid. In the past year, my ex has made a habit of bringing up/commenting on “hot” men nearly every time I see her—actors, musicians, etc., and given our history around sexuality it’s really painful for me. How can I ask her to stop without being too thin-skinned?


Re: My ex's jokes are really tiny little stabs to me

  • First- explore why it bothers you so much. This is about you and not her. 

    Second- can you say “I’m happy you are living your authentic life and I’m so glad you’ve found a wonderful partner. When you say these things I feel (insert however this is making you feel), would you be able to dial it back a bit as it is painful for me”. 
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards