Prudie Day

ei34

Sooo close to Friday and thankful for it.  How's everyone doing/feeling?

CharmedPam

I just wrapped up a three day work conference and now today is “play day”.  My coworker and I are staying an extra day to scout it out.  I just found out it’s her birthday today from others (we don’t work in the same office and only see each other once a year!) so I’m going to see if they have cupcakes at the local bakery here.

@short+sassy hope you have fun in Biloxi. I wouldn’t want to waste a room for that price either!
I did catch up over the last three days last night but was to tired to post. All day conferences take a lot out of me!

short+sassy

@CharmedPam, I hope you have a fun play day!  You all deserve some fun after a 3-day conference.

We did pull the trigger on Biloxi last night!  Two nights, so it's about half off for the lodging.  Unfortunately, it looks like the weather is going to be lousy.  But I'm still getting excited about our unexpected mini weekend vacation.  We're staying at Margaritaville, which is a fairly new hotel out there and it looks fun.  They even have a waterslide park in their pool area.  This hotel is right on the beach and we got an ocean view room with a balcony.

It's also across the street from Harrahs.  For the kind of player's card I have, I receive a $100 free dinner each year.  The NOLA choices for the free dinner aren't great.  So I figured we would splurge on the fancy restaurant they have at Harrahs Biloxi while we are out there.  Though I did check on the prices and they are outrageous (sigh).  Oh well.  At least 100 bucks will pay for most of our meal, lol.

The hotel is pet friendly, but we were already able to get one of our friends to watch Izzy.  We took Izzy with us to Ocala, thinking she would rather be with us than stay at home.  But she seemed nervous and uncomfortable the whole time, so now we think she'll be happier staying home.

banana468

I can't remember if I've mentioned it but today we have an appointment for Chiquita to start to talk to her pedi about an ADHD diagnosis.  I think it's about time and hope we start to make progress.  Kiddo is going through a rough time and I can't tell what exactly is going through her head but I'm also going to ask for recommendations of child psychologists that specialize in ADHD and adolescent gender issues.  In the span of 6 hours on Sunday she told me that she's nonbinary, maybe demi-girl and maybe she's not sure but she knows she has crushes on boys and girls.  It lead to a full-fledged cry on Sunday night that she's having a rough time making friends all because kids saw her dunk her goldfish in applesauce when she was in K and now she doesn't know why they still tease.  

It's likely NOT the goldfish issue but navigating that kids just suck in middle school.  To add to it I think she's a late bloomer physically and young for the grade so put the two together and there are girls in her grade wearing undergarments bigger than I wore while pregnant and she's just learning to have to shave.    She has emphasized that she doesn't want to dress up all the time and likes wearing pants and blazers - some thing I do all the time!    But then we talked and I asked if she wants to go to the parent/child dance next month AND what would she like to wear - and she picked out - a long flowy gown with a fake fur shrug and glitter ballet flats.  

She talked to DH and me extensively the other night and we told her we just want her to be herself - she doesn't have to fit a mold.  And no matter what she's feeling she's loved and supported by us.  

I also LOVE that I talked to her GS leader who said she is open to one on one talks with Chiquita whenever.  This parenting thing is no joke guys. 

charlotte989875

Ugh, @banana468 poor chicquita! Middle school is the worst I’m so sorry she’s having a tough time. Kids are little jerks. 

You’re a great mom! I hope you can get some answers with the pedi. 

charlotte989875

Still super sick. Taking the day off except for dragging myself to two meetings with executive leaders. One is done one more to go then it’s sleeping and TV all day. 

banana468

@charlotte989875 strep is no joke.  Take care of yourself!

Years ago friends thought their kid's sore throat was viral and it was undiagnosed strep that turned into Rheumatic fever.  It was awful for them.  And right before Covid hit in 2020 Chiquita had strep and the flu.  It knocked her DOWN for days.

MissKittyDanger

@CharmedPam whew 3 day conference.


@banana468 whew that is a lot for Chiquita. The perk is that there is more people to talk to now vs when we were younger.
I think talking to a therapist that specializes in gender/sexuality would definitely help. Parents saying "we love you for who you are" is one thing, having someone separate say "this is normal and that's okay for who you are" is always different.
{It's like knowing your kid is cute or well behaved, but hearing it from non-biased person just feels different}
It sounds like you guys have created a great support system for her during this, which is so good and hopefully she is able to figure out who she can talk to {maybe everyone in different ways?}

MissKittyDanger

@short+sassy share photos later if you can
M and I are making a travel listen {places we'd like to visit} and NOLA is def on my list.

STARMOON44

@banana468 you seem like a really good mom!!

climbingsingle

@banana468 man, middle school is so hard. I was the opposite in that I developed before everyone else and I was teased relentlessly. It sounds like you guys are really doing an amazing job in helping and guiding her! 

@charlotte989875 I hope you're better soon! 

@short+sassy have fun in Biloxi! 

It's dreary today and I wish I was still in bed. Definitely ready for it to be Friday. Also I'm not wanting any of the healthy stuff I packed for today and am trying to talk myself out of getting pizza for lunch. Ugh the struggle. 

mrsconn23

Strep as an adult is hell. It's been years since I had it, but I seriously panic at the slightest throat tickle because I remember how awful I felt having it.  Feel better @charlotte989875.  Get all the rest.  

I'm so glad it's Thursday.  This week has been so long.  DH is going to BIL's for a euchre tournament Saturday (in OH) and SIL/BFF asked if I wanted to come over too.  I want to go because I'd love to hang with her, but being OOT for a night is stressing me out.   

DefConn is nursing a strained knee from wrestling, so we don't plan on going to the meet tonight since he won't have a match (it's away).  I'm hoping a night at home will help since DH was OOT until last night and I just need time with him and for us to get some stuff accomplished.  

Prudie coming up. 

MissKittyDanger

Calling for freezing rain today so BK is home.
We usually keep her home unless some reason she can't {ie; no one is able to be with her, etc}
Typically we'll let her sleep in, and this morning she woke up and got dressed lol So we had to break the news to her she was staying home. I told her if she kept her outfit clean, she can wear it tomorrow.

Tonight is usually gym night for M, but with weather he may not go.

short+sassy

@banana468, I'm sorry to hear Chiquita is having such a rough time!  Those pre-teen years are the absolute worst.  But it's great that she is comfortable talking to you all about it.  You all sound like awesome parents.  If she does have ADHD, I'm sure getting it diagnosed will be really helpful.  I hope you all also find a good therapist and that helps her also.

ei34

Ugh the middle school years are so hard @banana468, I feel for Chiquita.  You're really supporting her from every angle, I hope that things begin to settle down for her (and you)

BS you even have those two meetings @charlotte989875 when it should really be resting all day!

VarunaTT

@banana468, thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

My Liteboxer is so much fun!!!  I did 20 minutes last night, just the punching tracks.  I just chose songs that I liked, so had Minaj Starships, Smashing Pumpkins, NIN, Gaga, and then Chumbawumba.  I'm excited to get into the training classes too.  I hate exercising usually, but for some reason for boxing?  Yeah, I'll do situps and push ups and all the other stuffs (still not burpees though), so I can hit harder.  I'll play with the classes more this weekend.  I'm not sore today, more just that "you worked out" tenderness, which is nice.  I did over 1000 punches yesterday though and that was on the "easy" setting, only hitting 80% of the punches.  I think I'm going to bump it up to medium though.  Sometimes with rhythm games like this, the easiest setting is harder because there are fewer things to hit and it's slow.

Don't have too much else to report.  I'm finally on the last bottle of weekly shots for my allergies and should be moving into maintenance soon.  I'm so excited, I can't wait for the floating season to start and not have to carry so much medication to help me handle outside.  

Otherwise, SSDD.  Just trying to get myself on a good path for health at this point now.

short+sassy

MissKittyDanger said:

@short+sassy share photos later if you can
M and I are making a travel listen {places we'd like to visit} and NOLA is def on my list.

Oh cool!  As much as I badmouth the city (because it's become awful to live here), it's an especially great place to visit.  There is a lot to do, a lot of history, great food, and beautiful architecture.  It has a great, unique vibe that is like nowhere else I have ever been.

If you all ever make your way down, I probably won't be living here anymore, lol.  But I'd be happy to give recommendations.

banana468

Thanks all for the support!  I should have also elaborated that she went from non binary to demi girl to....just confused.  And we both said that all of that is more than fine.  She doesn't have to make fine choices and we just want to love her.

I also have a major concern with the gender norms floating in her head so I absolutely want her to talk to a nonbiased pro vs DH and me.  

MissKittyDanger

banana468 said:

Thanks all for the support!  I should have also elaborated that she went from non binary to demi girl to....just confused.  And we both said that all of that is more than fine.  She doesn't have to make fine choices and we just want to love her.

I also have a major concern with the gender norms floating in her head so I absolutely want her to talk to a nonbiased pro vs DH and me.  

Lack of knowledge.
What's a demi-girl?

Also tbh I went through a solid "only boy skater zip shorts" for a few years

Could she may be thinking too much into stuff also?

banana468

According to Chiquita it's someone who is identifying as part girl.

And....all of that is OK!  I started to broach the topic of what she's thinking for her future and what's interesting is that she's seeing herself in some "typical" gender roles.

MS sucks and when you're surrounded by people who have hormones surging, kids coupling and you're still sitting there like, "Can I just do my math without a million things distracting me?" I sympathize.  I also wonder if there's a factor of her mind wandering with ADHD that increases the anxiety and feeling that she's not fitting in the right mold that only increases all the issues. 

MissKittyDanger

banana468 said:

According to Chiquita it's someone who is identifying as part girl.

And....all of that is OK!  I started to broach the topic of what she's thinking for her future and what's interesting is that she's seeing herself in some "typical" gender roles.

MS sucks and when you're surrounded by people who have hormones surging, kids coupling and you're still sitting there like, "Can I just do my math without a million things distracting me?" I sympathize.  I also wonder if there's a factor of her mind wandering with ADHD that increases the anxiety and feeling that she's not fitting in the right mold that only increases all the issues. 

Ahh okay! I mean MS is when you're discovering stuff so this makes sense on questioning.
M.S is when I started dying my hair lol - grade 6, black. I am white a.f lol

That's actually when my coworker had her daughter assessed. Ended up being ADHD/anxiety but for her daughter, treating the anxiety was more beneficial. {they aren't at meds being a necessity, just using coping methods}

ei34

@banana468 meant to say earlier but it just popped into my head- when you meet with her pediatrician ask for referrals to private child psychologists in addition to referrals to developmental pediatricians.  Possibly projecting my own experience but I made an appt to receive an official ADHD diagnosis for DS in Sept '22 - appt is in Nov '23.  The developmental peds are horribly backed up here.  There are psychologists in private practice who can diagnose next week but I'm not willing to pay out of pocket for something that I'm been managing unofficially with his team at school (easier to do since he's already a classified student)...but if you'd be interested at least ask your ped for their recs, child psychologists who diagnose can vary, some are very into medicating, or anti-meds, others are anti-special ed services at school and "labeling".   If your ped diagnoses, great.  Or maybe developmental peds don't have as long a wait by you?  Hopefully?

banana468

ei34 said:

@banana468 meant to say earlier but it just popped into my head- when you meet with her pediatrician ask for referrals to private child psychologists in addition to referrals to developmental pediatricians.  Possibly projecting my own experience but I made an appt to receive an official ADHD diagnosis for DS in Sept '22 - appt is in Nov '23.  The developmental peds are horribly backed up here.  There are psychologists in private practice who can diagnose next week but I'm not willing to pay out of pocket for something that I'm been managing unofficially with his team at school (easier to do since he's already a classified student)...but if you'd be interested at least ask your ped for their recs, child psychologists who diagnose can vary, some are very into medicating, or anti-meds, others are anti-special ed services at school and "labeling".   If your ped diagnoses, great.  Or maybe developmental peds don't have as long a wait by you?  Hopefully?

I'll have to dig in!  We're in the forgotten corner of CT retail-wise but looking for specialists is new for us.   I have a good friend who is a child psychologist so I may reach out to her for recs and not necessarily request that she take on Chiquita as a patient but see who she may recommend in the area.  

And at least short term I'd consider paying OOP depending on rates. 

MissKittyDanger

banana468 said:

ei34 said:

@banana468 meant to say earlier but it just popped into my head- when you meet with her pediatrician ask for referrals to private child psychologists in addition to referrals to developmental pediatricians.  Possibly projecting my own experience but I made an appt to receive an official ADHD diagnosis for DS in Sept '22 - appt is in Nov '23.  The developmental peds are horribly backed up here.  There are psychologists in private practice who can diagnose next week but I'm not willing to pay out of pocket for something that I'm been managing unofficially with his team at school (easier to do since he's already a classified student)...but if you'd be interested at least ask your ped for their recs, child psychologists who diagnose can vary, some are very into medicating, or anti-meds, others are anti-special ed services at school and "labeling".   If your ped diagnoses, great.  Or maybe developmental peds don't have as long a wait by you?  Hopefully?

I'll have to dig in!  We're in the forgotten corner of CT retail-wise but looking for specialists is new for us.   I have a good friend who is a child psychologist so I may reach out to her for recs and not necessarily request that she take on Chiquita as a patient but see who she may recommend in the area.  

And at least short term I'd consider paying OOP depending on rates. 

she may also give you idea on backlog too!