Terrible Tuesday

STARMOON44

Thinking of everyone in Michigan such terrible news to wake up to. 

Casadena

But guns aren't the problem...

Absolutely heartbreaking and disgusting that this is preventable and assholes wont' do it. 

I'm in a mood today

charlotte989875

I hate that this is the world we’ve decided we’re okay living in. 

short+sassy

It's really upsetting.  I don't know how or why it's become a country like this.

Sorry to take away from this serious topic.  But I have my own touchy emotions and nerves today that I need to get out.

I sent a Teams message to the Big Boss requesting a meeting about 15 minutes ago.  He hasn't replied back yet.  I'll be on pins and needles until he does and then pins and needles again until we have our meeting.  I requested it for sometime this week at whatever day/time works best for him.  But I hope he chooses something sooner rather than later.  This is for a meeting where I am going to request WFH, once I move to FL.

ei34

Over it too...I hate that it's such a common thing to see in headlines now.  

Happy Valentine's to all my galentines.  Made a lot of brownies for my students...heart-shaped pizza with the kids tonight.  Say it with food.

CharmedPam

Lol at say it with food
Happy Galentine’s! Heading out for another flight shortly. Then I’m done flying for awhile. How do people do it on a monthly + basis? I just want to stay home!
I didn’t watch much of the news this morning and what I did catch, I was pretty groggy through it.  Was it a campus killing? And the shooter turned the gun on himself?  I’m surprised I didn’t see this on my fb newsfeed… usually I’d read that somewhere.  But also, I didn’t hear about the other spy balloon’s they got after the initial one either.  FB can stop sending me ads for shopping and post more news (I have it set for that).

banana468

It's frustrating and the only thing that's going to help is regime change.  

I haven't updated the school saga but DH has been great at attending local board of education meetings.  There was a major push last week with attendance not just by local teachers union members but by local teachers union members in surrounding towns.  DH wasn't a huge fan of how they handled their presence (a lot of steamrolling, telling everyone how they were going to be speaking when it wasn't clear that they were only addressing their fellow members from OOT and not the local parents who were there) but regardless, the town has opted to put those teachers back in the budget.

The next step is that he'll go to the board of finance meetings where the budget is presented to be a voice of not cutting the school budget.  When you look at the recent years of inflation, the budget actually barely keeps up but for some reason, there's the feeling that education costs too much once you stop "using" it. 

short+sassy

banana468 said:

It's frustrating and the only thing that's going to help is regime change.  

I haven't updated the school saga but DH has been great at attending local board of education meetings.  There was a major push last week with attendance not just by local teachers union members but by local teachers union members in surrounding towns.  DH wasn't a huge fan of how they handled their presence (a lot of steamrolling, telling everyone how they were going to be speaking when it wasn't clear that they were only addressing their fellow members from OOT and not the local parents who were there) but regardless, the town has opted to put those teachers back in the budget.

The next step is that he'll go to the board of finance meetings where the budget is presented to be a voice of not cutting the school budget.  When you look at the recent years of inflation, the budget actually barely keeps up but for some reason, there's the feeling that education costs too much once you stop "using" it. 

A "lack" of education costs society so much more!

Casadena

G was home yesterday. His dosages had to increase based on his labs last Thursday and everything just hit him a lot harder this round than it has before. Plus 5 day course of steroids = roid ragey toddler who is already sensitive and needy. Whew. Very excited for those to start wearing off today. He was excited to go to school for Vday (and wanted to give his friends "candy, candy, candy, and even more candy" for the treats) but i'm sure will be a handful when he gets home. He's definitely a kid who holds it all in and is a perfect angel at school and unloads as soon as he walks in the door. 

Around Xmas, N started having some really odd eye movements - almost like his eyes would get "Stuck" for a few seconds in an eye rolling position or off to the side. He hasn't been doing it much lately, but his ped ordered an EEG just to rule out seizure activity and suggested we follow up with a eye doctor appointment. He has that coming on Monday. It has to be done sleep deprived, so we're only allowed to let him sleep from 12-4am Sunday night. This kid LOVES sleep. It's going to be a f'ing nightmare. If anyone has suggestions for how to keep a sleep loving 18 month old awake for 5 hours longer than normal, please let me know. 

Not feeling overly festive today and accidentally dressed all in black. Oops. 

MissKittyDanger

I've thrown M into the ring about relaying to comments about stuff because I am genuinely tired of being asked and beyond frustrated.
SFIL & MIL know we're done but they keep asking if we're "sure" we're done.

I post with gif's of me going "ew" etc to it

Like I know BIL & SIL are struggling financially and unsure about stuff but honest to god ... fuck right the hell off.

M felt bad he was playing his game so didn't see chat, or he would have said something. As I told him I'm not mad at SFIL and MIL but I'm annoyed and idk how else to keep saying something.

When we were trying for BK and MIL was asking about grandkids, M said "I appreciate you wanting me to have a big sex life"  and that made her back off lol

Also I told M it makes me feel like they don't appreciate BK. What if BIL & SIL have fertility issues?
They need to drop the asking anyone.

banana468

short+sassy said:

banana468 said:

It's frustrating and the only thing that's going to help is regime change.  

I haven't updated the school saga but DH has been great at attending local board of education meetings.  There was a major push last week with attendance not just by local teachers union members but by local teachers union members in surrounding towns.  DH wasn't a huge fan of how they handled their presence (a lot of steamrolling, telling everyone how they were going to be speaking when it wasn't clear that they were only addressing their fellow members from OOT and not the local parents who were there) but regardless, the town has opted to put those teachers back in the budget.

The next step is that he'll go to the board of finance meetings where the budget is presented to be a voice of not cutting the school budget.  When you look at the recent years of inflation, the budget actually barely keeps up but for some reason, there's the feeling that education costs too much once you stop "using" it. 

A "lack" of education costs society so much more!

That's also what DH will begin to state as well.  A town like ours is built as attractive for relocation.  We're a good 80 miles from NYC and experienced an uptick of people moving out of the city in 2020.  When we meet young parents they talk the school systems as a reason that they bought in town.

There is a cost of not valuing your schools and ultimately you'll pay for it down the road.  It won't be seen just in the education of your residents which is its own impact but there are financial implications to home values that you'll see as well not to mention what occurs when you have to constantly re-hire teachers who leave when they're not valued. 

kerbohl

MissKittyDanger said:

I've thrown M into the ring about relaying to comments about stuff because I am genuinely tired of being asked and beyond frustrated.
SFIL & MIL know we're done but they keep asking if we're "sure" we're done.

I post with gif's of me going "ew" etc to it

Like I know BIL & SIL are struggling financially and unsure about stuff but honest to god ... fuck right the hell off.

M felt bad he was playing his game so didn't see chat, or he would have said something. As I told him I'm not mad at SFIL and MIL but I'm annoyed and idk how else to keep saying something.

When we were trying for BK and MIL was asking about grandkids, M said "I appreciate you wanting me to have a big sex life"  and that made her back off lol

Also I told M it makes me feel like they don't appreciate BK. What if BIL & SIL have fertility issues?
They need to drop the asking anyone.

I'm sorry, that must be so frustrating.  People dropped off asking us, but it is a testy subject, especially now knowing that Hubby wants kids and was waiting for me to change my mind.  I hope that they get the hint.  

I didn't know about Michigan, I just looked it up.  So frustrating that the people who can change things don't seem to want to take it seriously.  

I was really engaged and busy at work yesterday, but today I feel distracted.  Hopefully I find something to focus on.  Maybe I'll take a long lunch ... I do have lots of overtime.

banana468

MissKittyDanger said:

I've thrown M into the ring about relaying to comments about stuff because I am genuinely tired of being asked and beyond frustrated.
SFIL & MIL know we're done but they keep asking if we're "sure" we're done.

I post with gif's of me going "ew" etc to it

Like I know BIL & SIL are struggling financially and unsure about stuff but honest to god ... fuck right the hell off.

M felt bad he was playing his game so didn't see chat, or he would have said something. As I told him I'm not mad at SFIL and MIL but I'm annoyed and idk how else to keep saying something.

When we were trying for BK and MIL was asking about grandkids, M said "I appreciate you wanting me to have a big sex life"  and that made her back off lol

Also I told M it makes me feel like they don't appreciate BK. What if BIL & SIL have fertility issues?
They need to drop the asking anyone.

Can M tell them nicely to stop it? 

It's not a thing for DH and me but on anything that's repetitive I'm at the point of being blunt if the nice answers aren't doing it. 

short+sassy

I see now that I made a strategical error.  I've been waiting, waiting, waiting for the Big Boss to reply back to my Teams message.  But it looks like he hasn't been logged into Teams.  Almost everyone I work with is on Teams and I didn't notice he wasn't until a couple hours ago.

I'll send him an e-mail after lunch.  But ugh, this is definitely not helping all my nervousness, lol.

MissKittyDanger

banana468 said:

MissKittyDanger said:

I've thrown M into the ring about relaying to comments about stuff because I am genuinely tired of being asked and beyond frustrated.
SFIL & MIL know we're done but they keep asking if we're "sure" we're done.

I post with gif's of me going "ew" etc to it

Like I know BIL & SIL are struggling financially and unsure about stuff but honest to god ... fuck right the hell off.

M felt bad he was playing his game so didn't see chat, or he would have said something. As I told him I'm not mad at SFIL and MIL but I'm annoyed and idk how else to keep saying something.

When we were trying for BK and MIL was asking about grandkids, M said "I appreciate you wanting me to have a big sex life"  and that made her back off lol

Also I told M it makes me feel like they don't appreciate BK. What if BIL & SIL have fertility issues?
They need to drop the asking anyone.

Can M tell them nicely to stop it? 

It's not a thing for DH and me but on anything that's repetitive I'm at the point of being blunt if the nice answers aren't doing it. 

Oh he absolutely does!
Had he been on the chat he'd have said something but he was on his game so didn't even know.

I know they're not saying it to be malicious, but I'm frustrated and M gets it.
I think next time he's there and I'm not, he may say something even if it's not brought up.

banana468

MissKittyDanger said:

banana468 said:

MissKittyDanger said:

I've thrown M into the ring about relaying to comments about stuff because I am genuinely tired of being asked and beyond frustrated.
SFIL & MIL know we're done but they keep asking if we're "sure" we're done.

I post with gif's of me going "ew" etc to it

Like I know BIL & SIL are struggling financially and unsure about stuff but honest to god ... fuck right the hell off.

M felt bad he was playing his game so didn't see chat, or he would have said something. As I told him I'm not mad at SFIL and MIL but I'm annoyed and idk how else to keep saying something.

When we were trying for BK and MIL was asking about grandkids, M said "I appreciate you wanting me to have a big sex life"  and that made her back off lol

Also I told M it makes me feel like they don't appreciate BK. What if BIL & SIL have fertility issues?
They need to drop the asking anyone.

Can M tell them nicely to stop it? 

It's not a thing for DH and me but on anything that's repetitive I'm at the point of being blunt if the nice answers aren't doing it. 

Oh he absolutely does!
Had he been on the chat he'd have said something but he was on his game so didn't even know.

I know they're not saying it to be malicious, but I'm frustrated and M gets it.
I think next time he's there and I'm not, he may say something even if it's not brought up.

Yup.  My MIL brings up things like, "When you redo your kitchen." 

I've started to take to asking her if she's paying for my home renovation.  With a smile on my face.  So I take her joke and joke back to her that it isn't funny unless she wants to open her checkbook. 

My house is dated and we all know it.  But I have told DH that this is my approach or he can tell her to knock it off.  

VarunaTT

Honestly, I think a lot of what we see in public discourse and the inability to parse nuance or accept that more information might change an opinion, is as a result of not only low funding for schools, but how that funding is alloted and so much of it being tied to standardized testing.  I think I was probably the last generation to not be completely tied to standarized testing and I think I'm the better for it.

How sad that when I saw y'all talking about Michigan, I honestly thought, I thought the issue was in Ohio?  And it is in Ohio, a massive environmental crisis of a train derailment of hazardous chemicals with issue that a whole lot of the country is downstream and downwind from.  Now add another shooting.  I can't understand how some people genuinely look at these issues and think the problem is LGBTQ+, black folx, women, and other marginalized folx asking for equal rights and NOT that unions are being demolished, rich people are getting richer, and our government protections are being gutted.  Most of us are never going to be rich.  We'd be better served by giving up that dream and making sure all of us are sheltered, fed, educated, and healthy.

Funny story for those in the "stop asking me" boat:  I had dinner out with friends on Friday night, celebrating my friend J's birthday.  The table next to us decided to be all.up.in.our.business, b/c it was someone's birthday at their table too.  We were trying to be polite and keep the conversation to a minimum; frankly it was uncomfortable conversation anyway.  Then, the other table says to J (who turned 50), "How many grandkids do you have?"  J: "None, I don't have any kids".  Rude MFer at other table: "How do you make it to 50 with no kids?!?!?!"  Me:  "Birth control".  They left us alone after that. 

VarunaTT

Also, for us older Knotties, I looked it up:  6fsn is about 3 hours away from the train derailement in East Palestine, Ohio.  She hasn't responded to my check-in yet.  Do we have any other Ohio knotties, I feel like I'm forgetting someone(s).

banana468

VarunaTT said:

Honestly, I think a lot of what we see in public discourse and the inability to parse nuance or accept that more information might change an opinion, is as a result of not only low funding for schools, but how that funding is alloted and so much of it being tied to standardized testing.  I think I was probably the last generation to not be completely tied to standarized testing and I think I'm the better for it.

How sad that when I saw y'all talking about Michigan, I honestly thought, I thought the issue was in Ohio?  And it is in Ohio, a massive environmental crisis of a train derailment of hazardous chemicals with issue that a whole lot of the country is downstream and downwind from.  Now add another shooting.  I can't understand how some people genuinely look at these issues and think the problem is LGBTQ+, black folx, women, and other marginalized folx asking for equal rights and NOT that unions are being demolished, rich people are getting richer, and our government protections are being gutted.  Most of us are never going to be rich.  We'd be better served by giving up that dream and making sure all of us are sheltered, fed, educated, and healthy.

Funny story for those in the "stop asking me" boat:  I had dinner out with friends on Friday night, celebrating my friend J's birthday.  The table next to us decided to be all.up.in.our.business, b/c it was someone's birthday at their table too.  We were trying to be polite and keep the conversation to a minimum; frankly it was uncomfortable conversation anyway.  Then, the other table says to J (who turned 50), "How many grandkids do you have?"  J: "None, I don't have any kids".  Rude MFer at other table: "How do you make it to 50 with no kids?!?!?!"  Me:  "Birth control".  They left us alone after that. 

But what if the answer was, "We f*cked like rabbits but found out I can't sustain a pregnancy after 15 miscarriages!" 

I mean, DH comes from a SUPER prolific family where our two put us at the tiny familiy size in his family.  And one cousin and his wife were pretty open and honest that they were trying and had been and nothing was working and they were openly devastated.  

Because while my question is invasive it's financially invasive.  Getting up in someone's business isn't just financially invasive but it  could also be a situation out of their control and it brings up an extremely painful stressful situation.  It's information you're not entitled to in any way but makes me downright angry that people do not consider that infertility may be at play, and whether or not it is is none of their business. 

VarunaTT

@banana468 I agree with you, whole heartedly and it's what I tell people who I consider friends when they are misbehaving in such a matter.  B/c IF infertitlity is at play, people DO NOT HAVE to tell you or discuss it with you.  This is why the question is absolutely no one's business.

I didn't want to give them any route into further conversation, b/c that might've gotten an "I'm sorry" or something.  I wanted them to leave us alone.  

banana468

VarunaTT said:

@banana468 I agree with you, whole heartedly and it's what I tell people who I consider friends when they are misbehaving in such a matter.  B/c IF infertitlity is at play, people DO NOT HAVE to tell you or discuss it with you.  This is why the question is absolutely no one's business.

I didn't want to give them any route into further conversation, b/c that might've gotten an "I'm sorry" or something.  I wanted them to leave us alone.  

Yeah good point.  It's not heckling from Uncle Donald but strangers.    It just strikes such a nerve with me especially after hearing the confessions from people who have shared such heartbreaking struggles. 

Casadena

VarunaTT said:

Also, for us older Knotties, I looked it up:  6fsn is about 3 hours away from the train derailement in East Palestine, Ohio.  She hasn't responded to my check-in yet.  Do we have any other Ohio knotties, I feel like I'm forgetting someone(s).

Did @NBSquared2017 just move back to that area from Jersey?

kerbohl

@banana468 The thing is with home renovation questions as well is a) well apparently you are saying that my house looks crappy and b) maybe I like it that way or it isn't a priority over other financial things?  I just renovated my kitchen and I get that it isn't everyone's cup of tea, but I love it.  Having my brother comment that it will look even better when I update my appliances - not helping.  My stove still works, and yeah I get it isn't pretty but I'm also against throwing out something that still has use and I want to reduce my environmental footprint.  So my white stove that stands out against my stainless steel - whatever.  When it dies I'll replace it.

And I've still got a bunch of renos to do but again - we don't all have the money to update our house from top to bottom!  

short+sassy

kerbohl said:

@banana468 The thing is with home renovation questions as well is a) well apparently you are saying that my house looks crappy and b) maybe I like it that way or it isn't a priority over other financial things?  I just renovated my kitchen and I get that it isn't everyone's cup of tea, but I love it.  Having my brother comment that it will look even better when I update my appliances - not helping.  My stove still works, and yeah I get it isn't pretty but I'm also against throwing out something that still has use and I want to reduce my environmental footprint.  So my white stove that stands out against my stainless steel - whatever.  When it dies I'll replace it.

And I've still got a bunch of renos to do but again - we don't all have the money to update our house from top to bottom!  

For my own home, I don't care if the appliances don't match, lol.  I had a really nice black, front load LG washer/dryer pair that I'd bought used from a coworker when I first purchased my house.  Then the washer died a couple years ago.  I bought a cheap, but with good reviews, new washing machine.  White and top load.

They are a very mismatched pair, both in color and style, lol.  But that old dryer is still working fine, so I'm certainly not replacing it to get a "matchy" dryer to my washer.

My kitchen is the same way.  We had the opportunity during a BF sale a few years ago to "upgrade" our stove for pretty cheap.  We needed a stove for a rental anyway, so we put ours in the rental unit and kept the upgraded stove.  The new stove was stainless steel and our own fridge/dishwasher are white.  But I'd rather have the better stove than a matchy-matchy kitchen.

VarunaTT

VarunaTT said:

Also, for us older Knotties, I looked it up:  6fsn is about 3 hours away from the train derailement in East Palestine, Ohio.  She hasn't responded to my check-in yet.  Do we have any other Ohio knotties, I feel like I'm forgetting someone(s).

6fsn seems to be fine for now she says; she's about 2 hours away.

short+sassy

I had my meeting with the Big Boss!  It's nice not to have the stress of that hanging over me anymore.

It went well.  Kind of.  But nothing has been decided yet and may not be for awhile.  That's the little bit of bad news.  But it's a lot better than a "no" and it did sound like they are going more toward changing this company-wide anyway.

Long story short, our client is switching over to a different system in about 1-2 months with the hope that it will make WFH smoother for their own employees.  Many of their employees already WFH.  The company I work directly for is waiting until that happens and will then look at how well that system does and is then planning to implement their own WFH possibilities.  He said nothing has really been said about it yet, because it's still in the early stages (on my company's side).

I did point out that I already exclusively work on the client's network with their laptop.  For me personally, I'd think once the client has it in place, that should be all that matters.  But maybe it's something where they don't want to make an exception for me, when their own system is around the corner for all/most employees.  

On the plus side, he expressed appreciation for all the work I do.  That they would hate to lose me and I'd be hard to replace.  I emphasized that I liked this company, my position in it, and my coworkers and am hoping we can work something out with WFH.  I also told him that my moving plans were flexible and I'd rather put off my move for a couple months or so...the timeline I originally gave him was 3-5 months....if it meant I could retain my position with the company.

We left it at "we would keep in touch with each other".  I'd let him know when I'm at a point where I'm ready to list my house.  And he will let me know as things progress on the WFH side of things.  Both for the client and company we work for.

I'm excited it sounds like a distinct possibility!  But I'm not excited that I'm in largely the same holding pattern I've been in, lol.

ei34

Ugh you can't get a break @Casadena...maybe try some extra sugar at night for N?  And as a wake up early treat, maybe something he doesn't usually get, or doesn't usually get much of?  I'm an admittedly strict mom with handheld screen time, but whenever DS has a hospitalization those rules go out the window...is there something he'd love to have?  And then maybe on the car ride to the EEG one of you could sit in the back with him to make sure he doesn't doze off?  Ugh...good luck...too bad the dr couldn't give you some recs on keeping a sleepy toddler awake!

Casadena

ei34 said:

Ugh you can't get a break @Casadena...maybe try some extra sugar at night for N?  And as a wake up early treat, maybe something he doesn't usually get, or doesn't usually get much of?  I'm an admittedly strict mom with handheld screen time, but whenever DS has a hospitalization those rules go out the window...is there something he'd love to have?  And then maybe on the car ride to the EEG one of you could sit in the back with him to make sure he doesn't doze off?  Ugh...good luck...too bad the dr couldn't give you some recs on keeping a sleepy toddler awake!

thanks! There's an ice cream place near us that's open til 10 - maybe we'll take him on a late night ice cream date or something.