Oh LW, dump the bigot now.

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence, 

​I’ve known my long-distance boyfriend for 10 years. Everything is amazing except that he will freely use the “F” slur. I’m a bisexual, 23 female, and I came out as gender fluid this year—news that he rejected. He’s apologized to me in the past and explained it’s just the way he was raised, and that he doesn’t know any better. He knows how I feel about the slur—and yet he continues to use it! Recently, on the phone, he asked why I never compliment his dick pics, asked if I’m a lesbian, and called me a “fuckin’ f-word.” Honestly, I had no response to that and just hung up. How do I convey to him how much this upsets me?

—Maybe I’m Gay, Who Knows?

banana468

mrsconn23 said:

Dear Prudence, 

​I’ve known my long-distance boyfriend for 10 years. Everything is amazing except that he will freely use the “F” slur. I’m a bisexual, 23 female, and I came out as gender fluid this year—news that he rejected. He’s apologized to me in the past and explained it’s just the way he was raised, and that he doesn’t know any better. He knows how I feel about the slur—and yet he continues to use it! Recently, on the phone, he asked why I never compliment his dick pics, asked if I’m a lesbian, and called me a “fuckin’ f-word.” Honestly, I had no response to that and just hung up. How do I convey to him how much this upsets me?

—Maybe I’m Gay, Who Knows?

Why are you with this person? 

You convey that it upsets you by dumping him and telling him quite frankly that he has few if any redeeming qualities. 

mrsconn23

He 'rejected' your identity, antagonizes you, calls you names, put you down, and so on.  And this was a short letter!   

You deserve so much better LW.  Please, for you, block his number and in any other way you can, and never see him again.  

VarunaTT

mrsconn23 said:

Dear Prudence, 

​I’ve known my long-distance boyfriend for 10 years. Everything is amazing except that he will freely use the “F” slur. I’m a bisexual, 23 female, and I came out as gender fluid this year—news that he rejected. He’s apologized to me in the past and explained it’s just the way he was raised, and that he doesn’t know any better. He knows how I feel about the slur—and yet he continues to use it! Recently, on the phone, he asked why I never compliment his dick pics, asked if I’m a lesbian, and called me a “fuckin’ f-word.” Honestly, I had no response to that and just hung up. How do I convey to him how much this upsets me?

—Maybe I’m Gay, Who Knows?

By DTMFA.  That's how.

NO ONE should have to endure anything like this from any partner, period.

banana468

VarunaTT said:

mrsconn23 said:

Dear Prudence, 

​I’ve known my long-distance boyfriend for 10 years. Everything is amazing except that he will freely use the “F” slur. I’m a bisexual, 23 female, and I came out as gender fluid this year—news that he rejected. He’s apologized to me in the past and explained it’s just the way he was raised, and that he doesn’t know any better. He knows how I feel about the slur—and yet he continues to use it! Recently, on the phone, he asked why I never compliment his dick pics, asked if I’m a lesbian, and called me a “fuckin’ f-word.” Honestly, I had no response to that and just hung up. How do I convey to him how much this upsets me?

—Maybe I’m Gay, Who Knows?

By DTMFA.  That's how.

NO ONE should have to endure anything like this from any partner, period.

Or a fellow human being!  

levioosa

You are 23 years old. Get out. You have way too much life to live to stay with some bigoted idiot you started dating at 13 years old. You grew as a person. He did not. Fuck this guy. 

climbingsingle

Dump. Him. 

STARMOON44

Breaking up with him, blocking his number, changing the locks, and never speaking to him again would do it. I’d also explore in therapy your self esteem and boundaries. 

short+sassy

Whoa!  I just noticed the timeline.  The LW is only 23.  But this has been her long distance b/f for TEN years!  Like since she was a tween.  It puts it more into perspective as to why she is not seeing the parade of red flags.

Is he the same age?  Because it makes it an even creepier twist if he is older and groomed her to think this is what a healthy relationship looks like.

Obviously DTMFA.  But she also might find therapy helpful to avoid finding herself in such a toxic relationship again.  Especially if she was taken advantage of by an older person.