Dear Prudence,
I’ve been married for almost 30 years; my husband has never really wanted sex. He recently hurt himself and as a result, we haven’t had sex since August. He was released for all activities last week after recovering from surgery, yet he still hasn’t attempted to be intimate in any way. I’m tired of feeling like something is deeply wrong with me—being rejected so frequently for so many years has done a number on my self-esteem. Should we try an open marriage, or do I leave him? I don’t know what to do at this point. He said “ok” when I brought up the idea of an open marriage. He claims he just wants me to be happy. I feel like he does love me and I love him, but I can’t keep doing it, or not “doing it” so to speak. I feel like that part of me is dying and it makes me sad.
— Wanting to Be Wanted