Spring Tuesday

ei34

Having our first real spring weather today, it really is a mood booster.  Hoping everyone has a good day!

short+sassy

@ei34, I hear ya! There's something about a sunny day with good temperatures that is instantly mood boosting.  We have pretty decent weather down here today also.

I have a fair amount of work to do today at my job.  For once, lol.

I think I forgot to tell you all yesterday.  On Friday, I went under contract with a buyer for that property I didn't think I could sell without a new roof.  The inspection isn't scheduled yet.  That will be the real test.  I will be really excited if I make it all the way to closing but I'm not counting on anything yet.  

climbingsingle

This weather is definitely a mood booster!! My spring allergies are kicking into gear though. 
Mostly SSDD here. Already ready for it to the be the weekend. 

banana468

I'm going to be dragging later.  DH and I stayed up to watch the UConn game last night.   I think our in-state tuition just went up $5k / year but I'll enjoy it for now!

mrsconn23

It's going to be a rainy/cloudy day, but it's going to be in the high 70's. 

I'm wearing a new dress. Woohoo.  DH got his bonus info.  WOOHOO!! 

Still no word on the counteroffer, which is laughable at this point since the initial offer came a week ago today.  This is ridiculously unprofessional of the people handling the hiring process.  Everyone DH has talked to at work thinks this is weird af and also thinks that the initial offer he received is appalling.  I think there's some political shit happening based on other stuff DH has told me.  Also, here's some other background stuff on a personal level that is making this whole thing even more frustrating.  DH is going to reach out today to see what the heck is going on.  His boss also offered to do some poking around, but DH hasn't taken him up on it yet.  Anyway, it's stupid and annoying to be in this position. 

SSDD otherwise.  DH and I have started doing interval training.  I've hated running all my life and I'm cursing it the whole way, but I'm doing it.  LOL  I will not be the weak link on this out west vacation this summer.  

Casadena

We're still chilly and rainy here - thunderstorms this afternoon. I love this kind of weather though and generally am way more productive. 

Dropoff has been great the last week or so and i'm glad G seems to be settling in.

H and i are in another tiff and i'm frustrated. He has diagnosed but untreated depression that he blames me for and I'm just out of ideas on how to handle it. I'm definitely not a perfect partner either but we're really struggling to communicate effectively with each other. And he holds major grudges which isn't helpful. We need to go back to therapy but it's daunting thinking about coordinating schedules already. We'll figure it out, it's just frustrating! 

mrsconn23

That sucks @casadena.  I have diagnosed anxiety and I do talk therapy, but no medication.  I definitely let DH know what things he does (usually unintentionally) that are triggers for me, but I own my 'anxiety brain'. 

I hope y'all can get back into therapy sooner than later to work it out.  

VarunaTT

The new software is in at work.  I, of couse, love it and am already nerding out about things and have been given a project to develop on it, b/c I opened my stupid mouth. 

It wouldn't be a big deal except the one person I haven't been able to build a bridge to is also working on the software transition.  She's being a real bully.  I happened to overhear a conversation she was having about me to another co-worker.  She called me abrasive and some other things, which I mean, I own that I could've handle the situation better.  However, she's the one actively ignoring me in the hallway, refusing to respond to direct verbal communication, and refusing to respond to my emails, weeks...months now, later.  That is all on her and her attitude and I"m not playing into it.  I cordially say hello when we pass in the hallways and I've worked around her refusal to help with my training.  Quite frankly, I suspect that we have similar personalities, but I've gone to therapy. 

Otherwise, SSDD.  I've been having some really weird dreams about exH lately.  I've really been struggling with this in-between of life stages, where it feels like I know what i want, I have the tools to get what I want, but actually achieving what I want, feels impossibly far away and that frustrates me.  I think my brain is using exH as "old life/habits" trying to come interfere into my new life/developing new habits.  I don't like it though, it's VERY disconcerting.

levioosa

I hope you and H are able to find some time to reconnect and go to therapy together @casadena. 

That’s bs about the offer @mrsconn23

Not too much happening today. SIL has a test so we drove to it together since it’s near an old hiking spot of ours. After she’s done we’ll go do a couple of loops. Should be a nice change and it’s a beautiful day. The incline is also steeper than our usual hike which is good.

otherwise bracing myself for work tomorrow. It’s going to be a shit show. I have major problems with how they feel they can dump stuff on our schedule. But that’s not going to change.There’s no reason I should be the one to see certain things that reallly reallllly need to go to their PCP. Especially when their PCP is a specialist and that’s the issue they’re coming in for. I had a work meeting yesterday and they told me I’m getting put back in Urgent Care. Okay? “Oh of course they told you.” Nope, no one did. I asked if my staff knew and if my schedule had been blocked “oh of course they know, they’re already working on it.” I go and ask my staff and nope, no clue. Of course. Communication here is pretty bad. Tomorrow looks particularly bad, I’m just hoping the rest of the week is okay. 

Otherwise looking forward to today. H and I had a great weekend. We did all of the new things on Sunday with a new brunch spot and new pub crawl spots, and we finished off with a hangout at the park and a bonfire at home. It was a beautiful day and it was fun to spend the time together. 

MissKittyDanger

Please tell me I'm not crazy.

M & I are basically starting what will likely be a year long home reno.

We're going room by room essentially and we've actually got a plan, just financially and ability depends on what gets done when.

April we're finishing kitchen stuff we started - declutter, painting, cabinet - finishing painting the mudroom, and painting upstairs bathroom.

May we're doing the master closet. I've been waiting for too long for this and I told M we're getting on that.

Our spare room flooring is being done at some point, so that's on the list but an outsource of my uncle's company.
Part of why we're waiting until May for closet - we've got a lot in our bedroom that needs to move before we can do the closet.

climbingsingle

@Casadena that's so hard. I'm sorry. Even if it's just one therapy session a month or every few weeks, I bet it would help. 

@MissKittyDanger I lived through a home reno that took about 8 months. We did have a few projects going on at the same time (kitchen, floors, bedroom). The kitchen took the longest and was obviously the most challenging to live without. Going room by room is not a bad idea, and will hopefully give you time to focus on that room and get it done faster. What's after the kitchen and primary closet? What's going to take a year? 

kerbohl

@MissKittyDanger What you are describing doesn't seem too bad.  Have the kitchen done before other things start though.  Not having a kitchen is a real stressor.

That sounds really hard @Casadena.  I'm sorry you have to deal with it, but I hope scheduling doesn't get too hard.  It's important to get into therapy, and hopefully he stops dumping on you.

I've been a little quiet but lurking.  Busy with work, and we had a computer issue that blocked a bunch of sites including this one.  

Personal life is a little hard.  Dad's cancer is spreading, hubby is being a pain, and today my chickens won't stop screaming.  I think it is probably because of the nice weather and they are happy, but can't they make quiet contented noises?

MissKittyDanger

@kerbohl we're starting because we have it half done already, so it's more finishing.

@climbingsingle I think a couple items could be done together - like painting projects or major decluttering/selling items - but other stuff has to wait as it's a domino effect.
We can't do main closet until spare room is done because of sheer space.
Or we can't get the living room started until we get an electrician in to check plugs.

@Casadena can I ask why it's untreated?
I ask only because if I'm off meds for whatever reason {refill taking time, etc} there is a huge shift in me that I don't notice and it's not really something I can personally control nor could M - although he tries to be supportive, it's a chemical imbalance that isn't like coping skills can do anything about.

climbingsingle

@MissKittyDanger right, I totally get that. Definitely make decluttering a priority before any work begins. 

If I remember correctly, you're in a condo? So not really an area you can put down a POD/storage container? That was the best thing I did during my home reno. I decluttered, and then was able to move out anything I needed but also needed to be out of the way. Do you have any storage options nearby? 

But also, just keep in mind that living in a house undergoing a reno for that long will be stressful, especially with a kid. 

Casadena

@MissKittyDanger - he's never taken anything and is generally very anti-pharmaceuticals for himself if there is any other possible alternative. He's also not seen his therapist in almost a year and is not coping well. I'm supportive as much as i can be and obviously can't make him go to therapy or take medicine - but it's hard when there are long stretches where he's clearly not himself and he's not taking active steps to do anything about it. 

MissKittyDanger

@Casadena if he's anti-pharma {i honestly don't understand this} but he needs something. I would push for therapist, a maybe that's help in right direction for him. Tbh you guys have been going through a lot, he needs something helping him.

@climbingsingle We both get overwhelmed with that kinda thing, so we've been trying to break it down best we can to stop.
Like for our spare room, I told M he needs to start sorting his books.
Start with computer books etc

Basement we might just set fire and leave it lmao {for legal purposes - this is a joke}
We've got reason to believe BIL & SIL are expecting, so selfishly we're hoping yes to get rid of baby stuff. lol

STARMOON44

Just sharing a minor upcoming financial win: I never look at my car loan I set up automatic payments, I remembered I rounded up a bit, and that’s that. I logged in for the first time yesterday and realized I’m on track to pay if off this year, a year early, and since it’s only 4K left I’ll likely just make a couple bigger payments and hopefully get it done by June. I’m starting IVF next month and every penny counts, excited to be (hopefully) starting parenthood with zero debt!

climbingsingle

@STARMOON44 ahhh that's so awesome and exciting!!! So happy for you. 

MyNameIsNot

It's sunny and beautiful here and I've been chained to my desk since before sunrise because it's quarter end. But I just finished up the worst of it and am about to take a lunch break outside. 

@STARMOON44, Congrats, on both the car and starting IVF! Super exciting.

@mrsconn23, It does get better. H and I started with intervals with a lot of colorful language a little over a year ago, but now it's almost kind of fun. 

short+sassy

@STARMOON44, congrats on the soon to be paid off car loan.  And good luck on the upcoming IVF!

It's not perfect math, but I read financial advice years ago that a 5-year car loan could be paid off in 4 years, if two extra payments are made per year.  It could either be two full extra payments or the cost of two extra payments spread out over 12 months.  I've always done that when I've had a car loan and would do the spread out option.  It worked, the loans were always paid off in less than four years.

kerbohl

I understand the anti-pharm.  I hate taking drugs, for any reason.  If there is in any way an alternative, I will 100% do that.  Mostly it is the suspicion about the medical community benefiting from prescribing more drugs, that doctors who prescribe more get paid for that.  And I'm still salty about the doctor prescribing me medication that caused migraines about two months after I'd had an appointment when I told him I was suffering from migraines.  Clearly I am not cool with having migraines, why prescribe me something that will cause them?  Why?

MissKittyDanger

@STARMOON44 ahh! IVF good luck  

MyNameIsNot

kerbohl said:

I understand the anti-pharm.  I hate taking drugs, for any reason.  If there is in any way an alternative, I will 100% do that.  Mostly it is the suspicion about the medical community benefiting from prescribing more drugs, that doctors who prescribe more get paid for that.  And I'm still salty about the doctor prescribing me medication that caused migraines about two months after I'd had an appointment when I told him I was suffering from migraines.  Clearly I am not cool with having migraines, why prescribe me something that will cause them?  Why?

I totally get this, especially with mental health stuff. It's not so much suspicion for me, but more knowing that finding the right fit is probably going to take some trial and error, and there are probably going to be side effects. 

kerbohl

MyNameIsNot said:

kerbohl said:

I understand the anti-pharm.  I hate taking drugs, for any reason.  If there is in any way an alternative, I will 100% do that.  Mostly it is the suspicion about the medical community benefiting from prescribing more drugs, that doctors who prescribe more get paid for that.  And I'm still salty about the doctor prescribing me medication that caused migraines about two months after I'd had an appointment when I told him I was suffering from migraines.  Clearly I am not cool with having migraines, why prescribe me something that will cause them?  Why?

I totally get this, especially with mental health stuff. It's not so much suspicion for me, but more knowing that finding the right fit is probably going to take some trial and error, and there are probably going to be side effects. 

Oh I agree, it can be a nightmare for some people.  Some of the meds make you feel like a different person, some make your depression issues worse .... finding the right fit can be scary.  
I know someone who ended up medicating with a puppy.  Sort of a joke - found a drug that fit as well but the puppy was what got the biggest improvement out of the two solutions. 

charlotte989875

Wow, amazing @STARMOON44 so so happy for you!!!

short+sassy

MissKittyDanger said:

@Casadena if he's anti-pharma {i honestly don't understand this} but he needs something. I would push for therapist, a maybe that's help in right direction for him. Tbh you guys have been going through a lot, he needs something helping him.

@climbingsingle We both get overwhelmed with that kinda thing, so we've been trying to break it down best we can to stop.
Like for our spare room, I told M he needs to start sorting his books.
Start with computer books etc

Basement we might just set fire and leave it lmao {for legal purposes - this is a joke}
We've got reason to believe BIL & SIL are expecting, so selfishly we're hoping yes to get rid of baby stuff. lol

I strongly fall in the pro-pharma camp.  But I'm also coming from a POV where I had serious medical problems starting young.  I take many prescribed medications.  They all help me.  Either in how I feel or how my labwork is and sometimes both.  There is no reason not to take them.  Some medications aren't the right fit, so people should listen to their bodies and their doctors (to some extent).

Then there are the people who don't trust medicine, but are gung-ho on completely unproven holistic/natural approaches.  I'll sometimes look at natural ways to help my medical conditions, but only in conjunction with my medication.  

This is hitting a bit of a raw nerve because my friend and I were having a similar discussion recently and she started treading on thin ice with me.  And that's hardly the first ridiculous conversation I've had with someone that "natural ways are so often better than medication".

Oh yes.  Please tell me of the magical plant or flower that will restore my destroyed thyroid's function.  I'll wait.  And make sure it's cheaper than the simple, $10 medication I already take for that.

Casadena

@STARMOON44 that is SO exciting on both fronts! Congratulations

Casadena

MyNameIsNot said:

kerbohl said:

I understand the anti-pharm.  I hate taking drugs, for any reason.  If there is in any way an alternative, I will 100% do that.  Mostly it is the suspicion about the medical community benefiting from prescribing more drugs, that doctors who prescribe more get paid for that.  And I'm still salty about the doctor prescribing me medication that caused migraines about two months after I'd had an appointment when I told him I was suffering from migraines.  Clearly I am not cool with having migraines, why prescribe me something that will cause them?  Why?

I totally get this, especially with mental health stuff. It's not so much suspicion for me, but more knowing that finding the right fit is probably going to take some trial and error, and there are probably going to be side effects. 

This is more where H is coming from. He has an autoimmune disease that flared up horribly in our mid-20s and had horrific side effects from the many many drugs he tried to keep it under control. I think he's scared of that again and i totally get it. 

banana468

We're in a similar zone depending on meds.  DH has anxiety and it was determined between panic attacks that he needs a daily Lexapro.    That said, Chiquita has been diagnosed as having it and given that it's been a month, we're sticking with therapy.  

For Chiquita I am also seriously concerned about any med prescriptions right now while we're about ready to ride the hormonal roller coaster that will be starting to menstruate.  

And on the other front for me I had a high cholesterol reading in November and I am working to get that down with a diet higher in white meat, fish (salmon), lower carbs, and fiber plus exercise at least 5 days a week.  If I can avoid a statin now in my 40s I would really like to especially when I've seen the side effects.  

charlotte989875

I’m in the camp of: science is real, medicine is a tool to feel better, and I understand the very real stigma of mental health meds particularly in this country. I also think for folks who have not had chronic health issues the idea of having to take something, potentially for the rest of your life, even if it will help you feel better, is a lot. 

MissKittyDanger

short+sassy said:

MissKittyDanger said:

@Casadena if he's anti-pharma {i honestly don't understand this} but he needs something. I would push for therapist, a maybe that's help in right direction for him. Tbh you guys have been going through a lot, he needs something helping him.

@climbingsingle We both get overwhelmed with that kinda thing, so we've been trying to break it down best we can to stop.
Like for our spare room, I told M he needs to start sorting his books.
Start with computer books etc

Basement we might just set fire and leave it lmao {for legal purposes - this is a joke}
We've got reason to believe BIL & SIL are expecting, so selfishly we're hoping yes to get rid of baby stuff. lol

I strongly fall in the pro-pharma camp.  But I'm also coming from a POV where I had serious medical problems starting young.  I take many prescribed medications.  They all help me.  Either in how I feel or how my labwork is and sometimes both.  There is no reason not to take them.  Some medications aren't the right fit, so people should listen to their bodies and their doctors (to some extent).

Then there are the people who don't trust medicine, but are gung-ho on completely unproven holistic/natural approaches.  I'll sometimes look at natural ways to help my medical conditions, but only in conjunction with my medication.  

This is hitting a bit of a raw nerve because my friend and I were having a similar discussion recently and she started treading on thin ice with me.  And that's hardly the first ridiculous conversation I've had with someone that "natural ways are so often better than medication".

Oh yes.  Please tell me of the magical plant or flower that will restore my destroyed thyroid's function.  I'll wait.  And make sure it's cheaper than the simple, $10 medication I already take for that.

Bolded. Absolutely.

It's like if I have a headache or sinus issues.

Am I going to drink coffee, stretch, take hydra sense? Absolutely
Am I going to take meds if necessary? Also yes.

I've been off celexa. That's a 0 stars for everyone in a 5 mile radius.

M is ADHD - he's been off meds for 16 ish years and has discovered coping mechanisms for himself, but we've discussed him talking to a dr about a low dose drug because somethings he cannot personally manage and it's a lot for the household.