Classic: Why TF was Kim invited??

mrsconn23

Last Saturday was my wedding and it was everything I could have wished for, until the reception. One of my co-workers, “Kim,” started saying I was pregnant because I wasn’t drinking. I kept telling Kim I just don’t drink, something everyone knows. She even teases me about it every week when everyone at the office goes to happy hour at a local pub. I asked her to stop, but she didn’t. By the end of the night, I had guests coming up to congratulate me and my confused husband on our upcoming baby…

banana468

Well, now that it's not a lie I think it's going to be precarious of how you handle it since Kim is a coworker.

I would likely be quite clear with her, "Kim you spread information based on an assumption that was not your information to share and did so after I specifically requested that you not do it. "

Kim would now be in a need to know relationship with me and I would stop all personal contact. 

mrsconn23

I just don't understand why LW even invited this person to their wedding when they've been antagonistic to LW all along about their preference to not drink.  Kim sounds like an asshole.  I don't think I'd talk to Kim about anything except work ever again.   

As far as the real pregnancy, I'd not discuss it at work any time soon.  And once people do know you're pregnant, they don't need to know the exact timing of when you found out, so you can just call it your 'honeymoon baby'.  

short+sassy

SIB:

The honeymoon baby comment reminds me of a funny commercial from years ago that I think was for Disney World. A 4 or 5 year old girl is in an elevator with her mom and her baby brother in a stroller.  A nice elderly lady asks the little girl if she likes her baby brother.  The little girl starts telling her life story to this random lady, but loud enough for everyone in the packed elevator to hear.

She's talking about how much fun they had at Disney World and, even better, that her baby brother was born about 9 months later.  And her parents call him "our little souvenir".  The expression on the mom's face is priceless as she looks like she wishes she could disappear into the floor.

But back to the letter.  I would relegate Kim to someone I am "coldly polite" with.  It's almost the best revenge.  Because the LW wouldn't be doing anything specifically wrong that someone could point at, but Kim would feel the shift.

I would deny I was pregnant at the wedding to my coworkers and also call it a honeymoon baby.  Because it's the difference in days and it doesn't matter.  I'd say something like, "You all know that was just a dumb and awful joke by Kim.  She should be a fortune teller!"  And I would call it a "dumb and awful joke" every single time I mentioned it.

VarunaTT

I'm really bothered by this woman being teased for not drinking.  I realize I'm in a sensitive position about it, but the default should not be consuming alcohol, FFS.  Based on that alone, I think it's time to start cold shouldering Kim  all the time except when a professional interaction is required and just be coldly professional.  Be very clear at the work event, "I don't drink and I don't want to be teased about it."  It's just not okay, what Kim is doing.

Otherwise, I think the honeymoon baby excuse is fine.  

Kim is rather wretched.

kerbohl

VarunaTT said:

I'm really bothered by this woman being teased for not drinking.  I realize I'm in a sensitive position about it, but the default should not be consuming alcohol, FFS.  Based on that alone, I think it's time to start cold shouldering Kim  all the time except when a professional interaction is required and just be coldly professional.  Be very clear at the work event, "I don't drink and I don't want to be teased about it."  It's just not okay, what Kim is doing.

Otherwise, I think the honeymoon baby excuse is fine.  

Kim is rather wretched.

I agree, I was thinking that as well.  I drink, but not a lot.  I didn't really drink at my wedding .... does that mean I was pregnant?  The fact that the concept that someone might abstain from drinking for reasons other than pregnancy does not occur to Kim makes me think that she might have a problematic relationship with drinking.  And that she pesters people about it as well, that sort of solidifies my hypothesis.

banana468

Kim is a jerk but the reality is that the LW will need to flub the due date by at least 3 weeks if she was 5 weeks at the wedding.  It's not going to mean a ton unless the baby is early or really late but Kim may put it together later.

levioosa

banana468 said:

Kim is a jerk but the reality is that the LW will need to flub the due date by at least 3 weeks if she was 5 weeks at the wedding.  It's not going to mean a ton unless the baby is early or really late but Kim may put it together later.

I thought this too and I’m so pre-annoyed for LW that Kim could use the math to potentially gloat and just generally be an even shittier person. 

banana468

levioosa said:

banana468 said:

Kim is a jerk but the reality is that the LW will need to flub the due date by at least 3 weeks if she was 5 weeks at the wedding.  It's not going to mean a ton unless the baby is early or really late but Kim may put it together later.

I thought this too and I’m so pre-annoyed for LW that Kim could use the math to potentially gloat and just generally be an even shittier person. 

Yup.  The way the LW is presenting Kim it almost seems like it's a lose-lose situation if Kim pays attention.

It's almost why I would rather nip it quickly and instead of saying it's a HM baby say "Oh we found out on the HM but you know I don't drink." 

MesmrEwe

Since it's happening at work - it is definitely time to get HR involved even if a small company.  No one should be shamed for being sober!