Dear Prudence,
My aunt and uncle never had children, and my brother and I have always loved them like a second set of parents. My uncle died suddenly two years ago after 50 years of marriage. While going through his computer and phone to track down all their financial records, my aunt found a track of payments to porn sites and a huge stash of hardcore porn/videos involving the abuse of women.
Understandably, this has been traumatic and devastating. She tells me there were points late in their marriage where she also suspected infidelity. He had chronic health issues, and she always cared for him faithfully and with love, which made it worse.
Everything I read about porn addiction and marriage is about how to heal a marriage after the fact. Since he died before she found the porn, how is she supposed to ever get closure? She is still finding porn occasionally in files mostly filled with family pictures. Are there online therapists who specialize in this kind of thing? She lives 2000 miles away and has no family where she lives. My heart breaks to see this.
—Shot Through the Heart