He's just not that into you...again.

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

I’ve met a guy who has taken an interest in me, though we both seem to be introverts and I feel like our personalities are a hindrance to getting to know each other. How do I make it easier on my end?

—Want to Make It Work

short+sassy

Not a lot to go on here, but I'll do my best guess.

Ask him out also.  Dates where there is an activity to focus on might be best in the beginning, so there are fewer awkward silences.  If he makes excuses or doesn't reciprocate asking the LW out, then he isn't interested enough.

In my single days, I had something like this happen except it was all on the guy.  We went out a few times.  He was a bit shy and also confessed to me that he suffered from depression.

We had another date planned.  He called me to cancel because he was feeling really down.  I told him I understood and to give me a call when he wants to reschedule.  A few days later, I sent him a text message.  I said I hoped he was feeling better and to let me know if he wanted to reschedule our date.  No reply back.  All righty.  I can take a hint.  NBD.

I updated my dating profile about one month later.  He contacted me again to say hi.  He also made a joke about why I must not have been interested in him (something new I'd added to my profile).  I told him that wasn't true at all.  That he had stopped contacting me.  He told me he'd been really interested in me, blah, blah, but just didn't think a girl like me would be into him.  I pointed out to him that he'd cancelled our date.  I'd contacted him a few days later to see if he wanted to reschedule.  He never got back in touch.  Sooooo, not sure what else I could have done to show my interest (eyeroll).  He said I was right and that he was an idiot who was too insecure.

I was no longer interested in him romantically.  Either he was lying and had been seeing someone else or wasn't ready for a relationship or he doesn't have enough confidence to keep up with me.  But he did end up becoming a good friend for about another year.

CharmedPam

Yeah there’s really not a lot to go by.  I don’t know the dynamic here. And If we don’t, Prudie doesn’t either.

i do know that if men are interested in you, they’ll let you know. 

charlotte989875

I feel like LW is using “we’re introverts” as an excuse as why they can’t do the basics here of talking to another person about hanging out. If neither of you are willing to start that then yah I’d say you’re not compatible. 

kerbohl

My hubby was legitimately such an introvert/clueless that he didn't know how to ask a woman out.  He has never successfully asked a woman out.  Sometimes that is just the case.  I think the only reason we got together was that he told me he got a rabbit, I asked him several months later how the rabbit was doing, and at the time I needed math help for a Masters application and we started seeing more of each other and just started being a couple.