Our 18-year-old twins are coming home for their first Thanksgiving break from their out-of-state college. We visited them a few weekends ago, but it was a quick trip and their friends and friends’ parents were often with us. We really want this visit home to be restful and relaxing before they go back for finals. Additionally, I have a million questions about things that have happened (roommate drama, first romance, etc.) that we’ve barely scratched the surface of in FaceTime calls. We are a close family, but I want to respect their new status as young adults living independently and my tendency to get intense and nosy. For what it’s worth, I started therapy before their senior year in high school because I saw that I was becoming more intense as their leaving the nest loomed nearer and they were withdrawing. Do you have any suggestions for encouraging connection and conversation while still respecting their autonomy?
—Nosy Mom By Nature