Dear Prudence,
I recently ran into an old boss, “Susan,” at an industry networking event. During our conversation, she mentioned that “Todd,” a current coworker, had applied for a lateral move position at Susan’s company. She asked for my impression of him and I gave a positive recommendation, which I believed at the time.
I was surprised Todd is looking for a new job because he seemed pretty settled into his job and he was interim manager of our team recently. When I mentioned my conversation with Susan, he basically told me he’s bitter he wasn’t promoted to manager permanently. I asked Todd if he’s talked with our new manager or her supervisor about his frustrations because I think he’s more valued than he realizes. He dismissed that idea because he said he “doesn’t get paid enough” to teach managers how to manage. His attitude feels very sexist because a younger woman was hired over him as manager.
If he doesn’t want to work things out with our employer, that’s his right. At the same time, I feel weird having given a recommendation for someone bitter that a woman advanced ahead of him. Do you think I should contact Susan and let her know the backstory and my suspicions about Todd’s job hunt?
—Conflicted Coworker