This has disaster written all over it...I'd back out.

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

In one month, I’m taking an overseas trip to a foreign country with my partner. She was assigned to be in this foreign country for a couple weeks for work and invited me for a getaway the week after she finishes her assignment. For many people the trip is a once in a lifetime opportunity. But it comes with a catch: My partner invited her mother too. My relationship with my partner’s mother has always been iffy. But knowing this very well, my partner booked accommodations for all three of us to be in one room. I’ve never been an adventurous traveler; it’s my first time overseas. But when my partner invited me I didn’t know her mother would be joining us on our getaway. I’ve stayed in other places with my partner and her mom before all in the same room, and it’s not my favorite arrangement. Should I back out of the trip? Find another hotel?

—Tortured Travelers

VarunaTT

Does your partner know this very well?

Whew, I'm salty today and skeptical of everything.

Either book yourself a different room/hotel or back out.  Then have some serious discussions about boundaries and expectations moving forward.

MyNameIsNot

I'm trying to imagine what it would look like if H booked a trip for us and then told me at the last minute that his mother would be there sharing our room. It would not be cute. 

I'd probably book my own room in a different hotel. But you know, you could always talk to your partner. Outside of the MIL relationship being difficult, you're going to be apart for a couple of weeks, partner doesn't think they're going to immediately want to do the nasty? 

levioosa

Oh hell no. I love my mom and I’ve traveled with her before but there’s no way in hell I’d plan a trip where the three of us share a room. I’d be reluctant to even share a suite with separate rooms. I want totally separate spaces. 

charlotte989875

I really like my MIL and I still would never agree to stay in the same room unless there was an emergency and we literally had no where else to stay. 

climbingsingle

Nope. Sharing a room with the mom is weird and I would not want to go. 

short+sassy

I'm with you all.  It's really weird the partner booked a room for the three of them to share.

They definitely need to talk to their partner.  Then book another room or decline to go, if this is a dealbreaker for the LW.

mrsconn23

Why is mom third wheeling on this trip in the first place?  I want to know that. 

Because without context, it's definitely giving that LW's partner has a lack of boundaries or unhealthy attachment going on with mom. And LW bringing up the history of this room sharing situation happening on previous trips doesn't give this a good look. 

If they are grown adults, there's no reason for mom to be on the trip.  If mom was coming for a week of it, that's one thing.  But it's sounding like the whole damn time and that's a no from me dog. 

banana468

Nope.  The only way I'd be OK sharing a room with my H and MIL is if we had to because MIL required a level of care that required 24 hour supervision and we were on the way to bring her to her nursing home out of state. 

CharmedPam

I also find it weird that LW’s partner didn’t even ask first before making those arrangements.  One night I could maybe see (but really not), not a couple of weeks. It should have went like this “mom, so and so and I are going to ____.  I’d love for you to join us. The hotel we’re staying at may be pricey but it’s $_.__ a night. There’s one right next to so and so and I for $_.__.  Would you like to go?”
so mom knows for surer the room is on her.