Classic: Definitely talk to the teacher.

mrsconn23

My daughter is a freshman in high school, and she recently got an assignment that seems inappropriate. The assignment is for the kids to identify someone in their family who died of cancer, and then students are supposed to research that kind of cancer and create a poster presentation to display for the entire school. This seems like a terrible idea, and an invasion of privacy. Should I talk to the teacher?

VarunaTT

Whole post:

My daughter is a freshman in high school, and she recently got an assignment in life sciences that seems inappropriate. I’m wondering whether I should intervene with the teacher or leave it alone. The assignment is for the kids to identify someone in their family who died of cancer, and then students are supposed to research that kind of cancer. They’re supposed to create a poster presentation to display for the entire school.

The teacher also told them that the assignment requires them to use the story of their relative’s death as the “attention-grabbing” part of the poster and presentation. This means sharing details of how cancer affected their relative and how the person died. The goals of the project are to learn about cancer and to advocate for more research funding to fight cancer.

It seems inappropriate to me to ask kids to share memories (some very recent) of their relatives’ deaths with the entire school, and to grade them on how well they do it. My daughter told the teacher she thought this wasn’t a great assignment, especially since two classmates lost a close relative to cancer earlier in the school year and are still grieving. The teacher’s response was to tell the kids that the best way to do the assignment was to use a relative’s story but that she would permit the kids to use a celebrity’s story if they didn’t want to use a personal story. Given that my child has already attempted to resolve this herself, I’m wondering if I should step in or if my sense that this is inappropriate is off-base. Thanks.

—Wanting Some Boundaries

MyNameIsNot

Yeah, talk to the teacher. It's great that kid tried to talk to the teacher herself and tried to resolve it on her own, but 9th grade is still young enough that parents can and should step in and back them up when they aren't able to do it by themselves. 

Also, WTF is wrong with this teacher?

climbingsingle

That does seem really inappropriate, and it's stupid that she only made that exception after the daughter spoke up. What about families that haven't experienced that as well? 

All in all, it's a fucking terrible idea and yes, I'd speak to the teacher about it. 

levioosa

This teacher is awful. I could see “presentation on cancer and you are allowed to bring a personal story into it if you would like,” but telling kids to use a loved ones death as an “attention grabber?” Holy inappropriate Batman. I would definitely talk to the teacher and escalate if necessary  

short+sassy

NGL, I would have picked the cancer I wanted to study and then "made up" the family member who had it.

It's so bizarre for a number of reasons.  A teenager may not have a family member who has died of cancer.  I thankfully haven't and am 3x that age.

As mentioned in the letter, if they have, the child may still be grieving.  They shouldn't have to dwell further in that grief because of a school assignment.  Outrageous.

And finally, it's incredibly rude and invasive.  They might be passed away, but that is still their private medical information that shouldn't be blathered to some random teacher.

charlotte989875

This is absurd. Talk to the teacher. Advocate for the kids who might feel like they can’t. 

kerbohl

Does this parent have an actual copy of the assignment?  Because hate to say it, but kids lie.  They exaggerate and make things up to make it more drama inducing than it actually is.  If this is how the teacher ACTUALLY made the assignment, yeah, bananas.  If the assignment was on cancer and they worded it that students can use family member experiences if they felt comfortable and the child is saying that no one should be allowed to do that .... I don't know.  I want to know the teacher's side here before I can really figure out if the assignment is inappropriate.  

levioosa

kerbohl said:

Does this parent have an actual copy of the assignment?  Because hate to say it, but kids lie.  They exaggerate and make things up to make it more drama inducing than it actually is.  If this is how the teacher ACTUALLY made the assignment, yeah, bananas.  If the assignment was on cancer and they worded it that students can use family member experiences if they felt comfortable and the child is saying that no one should be allowed to do that .... I don't know.  I want to know the teacher's side here before I can really figure out if the assignment is inappropriate.  

I did wonder this too. Which is why parent should clarify with teacher first. If kid is correct then, yeah they should absolutely push back. 

banana468

Agreed I'd want to see the actual rubric.

But if the suggestion was to talk about a relative I would still be upset.

Quite frankly in life sciences at that age I'm not really a fan of researching the intimacies surrounding someone's death of cancer.   I'd push back hard and ask for the paperwork from my child.  Then I'd schedule a meeting on it and would ask more questions with a request to have an administrator on standby.

STARMOON44

No one in my family has died of cancer! Like. No what teacher?