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Wedding Woes

Maybe you need downtime away from people?

Dear Prudence,

I have noticed that I have what could potentially be viewed as a very irritating trait and I am curious how I can reel things in. I’ve spent the better part of the last 10 years as a stay-at-home mom and then a mom navigating quarantine with two elementary age kids. As a result, I didn’t have a lot of time to grow up. Recently, I’ve been coming out of my comfort zone, joining a local sports league and volunteering at school. I’ve realized I have zero time for socializing during these events and have to grit my teeth as the other moms chatter away. Whether it’s the coach giving directions or us as a group trying to meet a deadline, there is so much side-talk! But more than that, my reaction drives me nuts! We aren’t training for the Olympics nor do our volunteer duties involve any lives on the line. I wish I could enjoy the social aspect of these things (respectfully that is … if the coach is talking then we should be listening. I don’t care how old they are or how social we are trying to be). But I find myself so rigid in the task at hand that it drives me nuts. Any advice? These are women I am going to be socializing with for the next decade of my life and (for the most part) I do enjoy their company, just not at that specific time. I can suggest lunch afterwards all day long but I can’t exactly start shushing them! How do I relax?

—Can Everyone Stop Talking?

Re: Maybe you need downtime away from people?

  • Maybe scale back the number of social groups you join until you can let this go a bit. The socializing is what people are there for so you’re not going to change them (nor do I think you should try). 

    You may also be used to being in charge and having to corral attention from toddlers- making it seem like fixing on one point with little time is required. But there are coaches so if it’s distracting or a problem let them handle it. Adults can talk and work at the same time. 
  • Gummies. 

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