My bestie, the attention magnet.

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

I have a best friend—well, at least to me. She is so pretty and nice and everyone loves her. I can’t help but feel jealous of her. So many people like her, but the reason for that is because she is pretty and nice. I’m nice and love helping people but people don’t recognize me like her. Even around our common friends, she always gets the most attention and most recognition. It’s easy to tell who they like hanging out with better—alway there for her and I’m just …
there. For example, we both got chosen for an exclusive event and when she told our friends she got a lot of love and congrats. She told them I got in and all I got was “oh really?” or just a few stares. We share so many interests, but somehow she always starts getting to it first. It makes me feel like I can’t take part in that activity because she already did it. I love her to death, but she makes me feel jealous and unloved by others. How do I deal with this?

—Feeling Unloved

levioosa

LW has to be in high school. 

VarunaTT

My face is scrunched way the hell up.  If this is real, LW hasn't even written out what they like about their best friend or their relationships, and it kinda reeks to me like, "I'm BFFs with her for my own social cred."  I don't have much advice for that beyond therapy, so LW can get control of their own BS.

climbingsingle

This is a "you" issue. Seek therapy. 

short+sassy

That's the harsh reality of the society we live in.  People respond better to attractive people.  There have been beau coup experiments and stats that prove this out time and again.

I can understand when the LW watches this play out in front of her all the time how bad it feels.  I definitely think therapy could help.  And also start cultivating friendships and interests outside of her circle.  It is 100% on the LW.  But that doesn't mean it's not still a problem.

In my 20s, I had a friend who was traffic-stopping gorgeous.  You could see heads swivel everywhere she went.  Back in those days, I wasn't too shabby looking myself and got a lot of attention from men also.  But not when I was around her, lol.  We were good friends, but not besties, and we probably only went out together a few times a month.  I was confident in my own appearance, so it more made me laugh at the "chopped liver" I turned into when I was around her.  But if we were in the same social circles and spent a lot of time together, I know I would have started having a hard time with that.