Not Compatible, But Keeps Making the Same Choice

short+sassy

I have been dating a great guy for over six months. I love so many things about him, and I’m so glad I met him, but I have one thing I’m worried about. We text when we’re apart, but when we’re together I feel like we don’t talk much. He says it’s a “comfortable silence,” and he’s not worried, but I was in a bad marriage where my ex thought togetherness meant being in the same room while he watched TV. I really don’t want to relive that. What should I do?

—Is This a Red Flag?

short+sassy

I'm curious how all of this comes about.  Does the LW try to make and have more stimulating conversation and the b/f just isn't talkative?  Or do they both have trouble maintaining conversations?  Can they do more outings or is the b/f opposed to that also?

But a red flag is that the LW has expressed this concern to their b/f and he's not worried because it isn't a problem to him.

I also can't help but notice this is at least the second guy that LW has had a similar issue with.  If they keep sub-consciously choosing the "same guy", than this problem will continue to haunt their relationships.

MyNameIsNot

I don't see how anyone can answer this without context. I can't imagine a relationship where we just talk nonstop the whole time we're together, but I also can't imagine sitting at dinner staring at each other in silence. There has to be a balance of talking and not talking, depending on what you're doing, how much time you're spending together, etc. 

I can't tell if LW picked the same guy again or if the prior bad experience is coloring the perception of what is really going on.