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Wedding Woes

It's not rude to clarify!

Dear Prudence,

I have a low-stakes etiquette question. I’m not lactose intolerant, but I am sensitive to foods that are rich in dairy (causing a few hours of discomfort to slight pain/nausea). My best friend is actually severely allergic to dairy. An ice cream place in our area just started selling dairy-free ice cream, and it’s amazing, we’ve been a couple of times together already!

I went by myself today, and when I asked for the “dairy-free chocolate,” the server went to scoop it out. I noticed she was going to the main freezers when usually they had gotten the dairy-free from the back. I was debating whether to ask, “This is dairy free, right?” I decided against it as I know how frustrating it is when a client second guesses your work, and when I tasted it, it was dairy free. My question is, if I think a food server gave me the wrong order/misheard my order in a different setting, should I double-check even though I’m not severely allergic? Worst case scenario I have some short-lived stomach issues, and I don’t want to butt in on their work when I can deal with a mistake. What’s the protocol here?

Re: It's not rude to clarify!

  • "Hi I just want to make sure that this is the dairy free chocolate.  I have a food sensitivity so if this was the regular ice cream it could create an issue. Thanks so much!" 

    Be nice and usually they're happy to clarify. 
  • There's nothing wrong with double-checking. Even if it's not a severe allergy, it's still something that will cause you pain. And that's valid enough. 
  • I double check on my diet drinks and sugar free stuff.  I have no problems confirming 

  • IDK how Prudie isn't just using various gifs of this for these letters:

    Use-your-words GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY
  • I double check on my diet drinks and sugar free stuff.  I have no problems confirming 
    ME TOO!!!

    Especially with iced tea (sweet vs. unsweet) because I have mistakenly been given sweet tea way too many times.

    I've probably done that over 100 times.  I'm always pleasant and say it more in a double-checking, not accusatory, way.  I can't remember anyone ever seeming to be annoyed by that.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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