"We're having a small wedding, family and close friends only."

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

I’m getting married next year, and my fiancé and I are thrilled for the big day. But there’s one aspect I’m nervous about: my coworkers. I work on a small team, and my boss, who can be mercurial, has mentioned a wedding gift already and expressed excitement for the day. I keep a friendly, professional relationship with my coworkers, but I like to leave it at that; my fiancé and I don’t plan on inviting coworkers at all. How do I respectfully let my boss know the wedding will be just friends and family? Or do I not say anything at all?

—No Work at the Wedding

climbingsingle

Ugh I hate when people do shit like that and assume they're going to be invited. But yeah - "small wedding, just family and very close friends". 

banana468

I read this letter and thought Prudie's answer was so wrong.

LW should start off from the beginning that "Oh it' a family only wedding and close friends.  Thank you so much for thinking of us!" 

mrsconn23

banana468 said:

I read this letter and thought Prudie's answer was so wrong.

Yes.  Prudie told them to LIE!  WTF?  If no one is being invited from the office, it's really easy to hold that line. 

The only other advice is, "don't talk about your wedding at work...don't be on wedding websites (LMAO since we're all on here at work) and just work at work." 

short+sassy

It's also possible the boss isn't expecting an invitation.  I received a couple token wedding gifts from coworkers I was friends with.  I'm sure they didn't expect invitations, especially because they knew I was having a small wedding across the country.

I previously shared an office with a former coworker who got engaged during that time.  I would have been shocked if I'd gotten an invitation, but was planning to get them a small wedding gift or at least a card.  However, he left the company a few months before his wedding, so I didn't.  We didn't socialize outside of the office or stay in touch.