Dear Prudence,
My priest is leaving the priesthood because he’s fallen in love with me. I don’t know what to do. I’m not a religious person, but after my father died, I became close with the priest who provided his last rites and ministered to us during the funeral. Over the past year, we grew close, and I started to think of him as a good friend. Last week, he gave me a letter and asked me to read it when I got home. In it, he confessed his feelings for me, that he no longer felt like a father in the ecclesiastical sense, and that he wanted to be with me in Holy Matrimony. I am shaken, confused, and feeling guilty. He’s already begun the process of being laicized, but I don’t share his feelings.
He was shattered when I told him, even though if we were just co-workers and good friends, I would date him. But he wants to get married. I feel like everything is so fast and there’s so much pressure on the relationship, I wish he would have talked to me before deciding to leave the clergy. But he explained he needed to be released from his vows, otherwise, it would be like cheating. What should I do? What if this doesn’t work out? Would it be crazy to get engaged right now? I never even thought of him romantically before, but I know I can grow to love him.
—Thorn Birds