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Wedding Woes

CharmedPam, please be her Prudie.

Dear Prudence,

My husband and I recently divorced after getting married when we were 21 and fresh out of college. I went from living at home to living in a dorm room to living with my husband. Now, in my early 40’s, I am living alone for the first time as our son is leaving for college. I want to get out and build a life on my own and part of that is dating other people. However, my husband is the only person I have ever dated, and I have no point of reference on where to start. I don’t want a serious relationship, but I do want to meet other people and date like I should have before getting married to the first person I ever kissed. My self-confidence has always been low, despite doing well in my career and having a solid group of friends. I tend to be more reserved until I really know someone and can feel awkward in social situations with people I do not know. How do I overcome my insecurities and lack of experience so I can “date” for the first time in my life?

—First Date at 43

Re: CharmedPam, please be her Prudie.

  • But honest answer… maybe therapy?  Did LW go to a therapist for the divorce? Did the therapist say “cool, D is done, we’re done?” Maybe she can make another appt and be like “but wait! I have other insecurities!” Trust me, they’ll take your money. If this is LW’s first time going to anyone, she should be rest assured many go for this reason too.  Just life after divorce in general is a reason to go.

    what I liked about the therapist I personally went to was her letting me know that other people my age and older were going through the same thing. It helped knowing I wasn’t alone. 

    Or, confide in friends? But I feel like friends can only provide so much. 

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