Dear Prudence,
I am seeking your advice to protect my peace of mind and that of my spouse and children. I live clear across town and not near any businesses, churches, parental friends, or relatives. But, my parents drive by my home 2-to-3 times a day, many times a week, and have done so for over 15 years. They do not stop for a visit. They drive by and gawk at my home. When we wave, they seldom respond and appear to be “caught.” Then, they will call to question me about who drives what car that was at my home, who came over for a visit, or demand an explanation about the goings and comings of our house. There have been many times where I was outside, but my parents were only concerned about what was happening in my garage or what was in my trash. It is obvious they are only interested in making observations and demanding explanations about what they see, all of which is controlling behavior. I feel like our home and life is an aquarium for their amusement.
I told them many, many times that we find this conduct to be abnormal and harassing. In response, they laugh, claim to have been at “garage sales” or that they live in a “free country.” While we do not have the best relationship (brought about from a long history of other abuses), this continued conduct certainly is not helping matters. As a child, my parents made it clear they did not want me and they “hated” me. At 15 or 16 years of age, they put me out of their house and rendered me homeless. They worked hard at keeping me down. 35 years later, I am a successful person. I am bothered they did not want me as a child, and now they will not leave me or my family alone. I worked very hard to buy a safe home in a nice neighborhood on the outskirts of town. I did not purchase a home for others to demand explanations about what I am doing in it. I am convinced if this was not “parents,” this type of conduct would fall within the definition of “stalker.” I am not inclined to involve the police, and I feel I should not have to do so. We want to live without being watched and questioned. Do you have any advice or suggestions? Can you please help me?
—Tired of Being a Goldfish