Wedding Woes

They suck. Don't invite them.

Dear Prudence,

To be quick, I have been engaged three times before this. I never made it to the altar due to cheating, drug use, and an unexpected death in a car crush. I never thought I would fall in love again after I lost my last fiancé. His death shook my world, and I didn’t think I would ever get it right again. I thought my family would be happy for me. Instead, it is just a big damn joke to them. My sister made a comment about believing it when she sees me getting a ring on and signing the paperwork. Everyone had a good long laugh. I snapped that it was so funny. Watching the man I loved die in front of me and having major surgery so I didn’t die was just hilarious. We should call up his mom and tell her how funny it all was.

My sister started to cry and my mother told me that was unfair. I left. The entire dynamic leaves me sick to my stomach. I have always been the odd duck in the family: the unimportant and unimpressive one between the doctor, the lawyer, and business success. I have always said it was my own insecurities, but with this, the worst times of my life are just a big joke to them. It isn’t like they even lost time or money, they can’t even fake being happy for me. I would just elope, but my fiancé has a big family and wants them there. What do I do here?

—Not a Joke

Re: They suck. Don't invite them.

  • "I told you this wasn't funny and I'm sensitive to it.  This is not up for discussion again." 
  • The LW would be justified in not inviting them, but it's also okay if they don't want to be that drastic.  The sister already realized the horrible things she said, to the point where she was crying.

    They should also talk to their FI.  The LW doesn't mention if a large wedding would bother them.  But if it would, they should compromise on the size.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • The LW would be justified in not inviting them, but it's also okay if they don't want to be that drastic.  The sister already realized the horrible things she said, to the point where she was crying.

    They should also talk to their FI.  The LW doesn't mention if a large wedding would bother them.  But if it would, they should compromise on the size.
    I don't think the sister was crying because she was sorry about what she said but that LW got upset with them for their comments. LW's family is horrible. I'd elope or have a small wedding.
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