"I appreciate your concern, but I'm so happy I have answers."

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

I have had chronic pain for 20-plus years and just received a diagnosis. I’m thrilled that I finally have a medical diagnosis and treatment plan, after decades of being dismissed by doctors, but the problem is that it’s not curable. I have a treatment plan, and it’s not terminal, but it can’t be cured. While sharing my diagnosis with friends who’ve seen how pain has impacted my life for years, they, understandably, say they’re sorry I can’t be cured. I preface every conversation with how happy I am that a doctor finally believed that my pain was real and bothered trying to find out why, but I’m still making people sad by sharing my news! Do you have any suggestions for how to tell people without bumming them out?

—Pain and Gain

levioosa

As someone in LW’s shoes, there isn’t really a way. Most people simply don’t understand. Just like they don’t understand being in varying amounts of pain literally every moment. They’re trying their best but they just can’t understand. My only advice is don’t internalize it. You have answers and that in its own is a huge relief. 

CharmedPam

👆🏻 what @mrsconn23 said.

short+sassy

The LW is doing fine already with how they are explaining it.

It's normal their friends feel sad for them that, while it's great the condition was diagnosed, it isn't an easier answer.