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Wedding Woes

Therapy, and don't let the girls be alone.

Dear Prudence,

I grew up in a small town. My graduation class had less than a hundred people. “Jan” was the reason I ate my lunch in the bathroom every day since middle school. I was the fat quiet girl, so easy prey for the queen bee bitch. And now Jan is the mother of my 6-year-old niece, thanks to a drunken night between her and my brother. I moved home with my 3-year-old after my husband died. I didn’t have much interaction with my niece before that. Well, she is a baby Jan. She steals toys from my daughter and teases her to make her cry. And lies so easily. I put up cameras because my parents didn’t believe me—my niece deliberately pushed my daughter and threw her toy into the bush and lied when asked why she was crying. Even with the evidence, my parents are in denial. My niece is there every day because her parents are a disaster. Jan has been threatening to take my niece away from day one while wanting to go out and party. I can’t take this.

My daughter and I live in a cabin on the family property. When my niece comes over, I leave with my daughter. My parents hate this and complain all the time.
I need to grow up and not blame a little girl for her mother. I pay rent. But I am so isolated and alone. My husband had family overseas but in a horrible country. I would lose all rights to my daughter if I went despite the fact they were kind to me. Worse comes to worst, I could move in with my sister. And her 900 square foot condo. Please help.

—Repeat

Re: Therapy, and don't let the girls be alone.

  • Ditto - find your own place.  
  • Get out of here. I'm sorry LW is in a hard situation, but they're definitely not helping themselves at all. Work, save a little money and move into a small place of your own that is not connected to family. See them when you want to.
     
    *assuming this LW has or can have a job - they dont' mention otherwise
  • LW says they're paying rent, so there must be some kind of income. Ditto move, preferably to another town.
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