We lost our daughter three years ago. She was the mother to our only biological grandchild. “Dee” and “Kay” were our step grandchildren who came into our lives midway after a horrible situation with their mother. We consider all three our grandkids. We take them over holidays and have established college funds for them. We were glad when our son-in-law remarried, but now have our doubts. The new wife has two children of her own and is expecting. She has expressed negative thoughts over us “favoring” our three grandchildren, as in not including her kids on trips or treats or giving them gifts. It isn’t fair or inclusive, according to her. Our son-in-law tells us that our hearts should be big enough to add in all the other kids. Our other two children do not want children. This feels like a threat. Either we pony up or lose a connection to Dee and Kay. Dee and Kay have been through so much and only have their father and us. We have no legal right to them. We aren’t wealthy. It takes scrambling and scrimping to save for our grandchildren. What do we do here?
—Grandparents of Three