Wedding Woes

Is she really your best friend?

Dear Prudence,

I was friends with an opposite-sex couple that led us into becoming a throuple. There’s always been issues between them and their long-standing relationship, but the dynamic between the man and me was unlike anything we’d ever felt before. They were on the rocks, he and I got closer, but I backed out because how could we build anything in the middle of all the chaos? I am still friends with her, but he and I haven’t spoken in a year. They just started talking again recently, and I feel down at times because I miss him so much. I think of him and dream about him daily. She never took my feelings into account when we were all together, and I feel she still doesn’t see how this all affects me, even with knowing how sad it’s made me not having him around. Do I reach back out to him (because I know he feels the same as I do), or is it best to just walk away from one of my best friends (her) and let them both be on their way.

Re: Is she really your best friend?

  • I think you need to make some new friends. 

    And IMO, you should not be in a throuple in a marriage with issues.  Open/poly is NOT for me but I'd absolutely not engage with two people who bring into the throuple more baggage that they should be carrying. 
  • I think you should focus your time and energy on dating people who are single and available to be primarily committed to you.  
  • I feel the LW would like us to think that she and guy aren't together anymore because of her friendship with his g/f.  But I'm getting the impression that if the guy preferred to be with the LW, they would be.  Tumultuous relationship or not, he wants to stay in his relationship with his friend.

    She was wise to get out of the throuple after she developed such strong feelings.  But now she needs to take it further.  Stop pining for him and find someone new.  There are a lot of great guys out there and she needs to stop the drama-filled words of "it was unlike anything we'd ever felt before".
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