Fri-yay

ei34

We made it!  I'm relieved that the week is about over, I had some busy evenings between my kids' meet the teacher night on Tuesday and my own last night. 
It's supposed to rain all weekend here.  It's stbxh's weekend but I don't think he'll take them, so I'm brainstorming some indoor fun instead. Wishing everyone a restful weekend!

climbingsingle

So glad it's Friday! 

I'm sure some of you near my area heard about the bus accident. It was very close to my house. We had news cameras down the street and helicopters have been in our backyard nonstop. It's so heartbreaking. I can't even imagine how scary that must have been, and how worried the parents were. 

Not much planned for the weekend. Going to see my brother's band tonight. After that, it's going to pour all weekend. 

MissKittyDanger

Gloriously empty weekend because next weekend is gonna be busy a.f!

There are basics. BK is back in gymnastics on Saturdays and either M or I need to go to the store for a bday party gift for next week.
Otherwise - nada.

Suppose to be beautiful out, so we may go to the park for some outside fun - or if I feel lazy a.f I may just go our front and do chalk lol
Tbh we haven't seen IL's in awhile, so I may suggest to M that we see them for a bit.
They're about to do 2 trips and between the trips they are going to quarantine for safety. First trip is just Toronto for a few days, but after that is Europe - France and Amsterdam I believe.

Anyways next week is busy a.f
Thursday M is going to a work dinner, so he's dropping BK at my work for a bit.
Friday is my friend A's actual bday, so she's doing a mac and cheese fest downtown. My mum offered to watch BK for the night and we just get her for gymnastics next day - downtown can be a lot and she's never been.
We'll see.

Saturday is obv gymnastics but also A's bday party thing at a spa. I'm picking up my bff T and we are going together. I'm getting a facial - which let me tell you, it is needed lol

Sunday is a bday party for BK's boyfriend    we joke about that because M even said there is definitely a crush on both sides but as much as 5yr olds can.
I was texting with his mom to make sure all is safe, and it is so I'm happy. If it's just a drop off party, I told M I wanna do groceries during that time.

I think by next sunday afternoon i'll just drop out of exhaustion lmao

banana468

@climbingsingle that's horrifying and such a nightmare as a parent.  

The weekend is either going to be busy with sports with lots of extra wet laundry or we're playing the inside game and I may try to bribe DH to make a trip to Ikea. With the storm sweeping up the coast Chiquita is supposed to have a game tomorrow afternoon and then both kids are supposed to have games Sunday.  I'm grateful for a rain coat that goes to my knees and outdoor blankets. 

CharmedPam

Ugh @ei34 you’re taking his neglect of responsibility rather well! 

I heard something about a bus accident on the news but I was half asleep. Was it a schoolbus? And when?

I saw Kevin James yesterday and while he was funny, I’ve been to shows with lesser known names where I laughed a lot more.  I would say, he probably wasn’t worth the money.  He definitely wasn’t worth my time.  It took 45 minutes to leave the parking garage.  I hate the congested downtown area and really have to think who’s worth my time to go there now.  I have anxiety about traffic and parking. 

MyNameIsNot

Yay Friday! Sorry the weather sucks for most everyone; it's perfect here. I guess we're supposed to do dinner with my parents tonight, but my mom is being difficult and IDK. Tomorrow we'll run at the park early, then I'll probably do some yard work and we have a game at night. Sunday we're kayaking and then will get an early dinner with my sister. I'd like to work on some organizing in the garage while it's nice out, but I'll probably blow it off. 

VarunaTT

I have an eyebrow appointment, there's a race this weekend, and Sunday I'm going to see my alma mater's women's soccer game with some friends I truly cherish and don't get to see that often.  So, it should be a good time hopefully and it'll get me out of the house. I also have a preview show to watch on Netflix that sounds interesting.  It's kind of neat being in these preview clubs for Netflix and Amazon.  This'll only be my 2nd one, but it's fun.

I took a friend to surgery yesterday and was home by around lunch.  I ended up cleaning my bedroom really well, doing laundry, taking some naps, and just picking up around my space.  It felt so much better; I hate the depression piles and there were a lot of them.  

ETA:  It's a soccer game, not a football game.  I just re-watched Ted Lasso. 

Casadena

supposed to be almost 80 and humid all weekend - ick. I had my ultrasound this morning and will have results next week sometime. I hate that they can't tell you anything in the moment - like you know what to take images of, just tell me what you see. Not their fault, i jsut hate the waiting. Hoping to take the boys to the park after school to wear them out before bed!

Tomorrow is busy with sports class, some friends are stopping by that we haven't seen since i was very pregnant with N over 2 years ago so that will be fun! And then we're taking the boys to a cancer charity "glow walk" thing. I hate these events so much and always have, but H is super pumped about it and got the boys all kinds of glow sticks and tape so i'll act excited   

Sunday i'll take the boys to lunch and to the viewing area at the regional airport to watch planes land and takeoff so H has some time to study for his first exam Monday night. 

mrsconn23

OMG this week needs to be over and I need a couple of large drinks this weekend. 

Work is beyond stressing me out.  I don't want to get into it all, but I may end up down 2 people in the next month (not by their choice, YKIM).  I have a small, high-tenure, and low-turnover team, so this is very uncommon.  I am concerned about how this will affect morale if it all comes to pass.  

Tonight, DH and I plan to go to Costco and hang out.  DefConn is going to FIL's.  Tomorrow is dad and older sis's bday.  We're going to a baseball game (our AAA team).  Sunday is our normal football day. 

I wish we'd get some rain around here.  We're on a well and I have been concerned about our lack of rain for about a month or so.  

Can we get one week off from impending doom and existential crises?!  No?  At least it's the weekend.  LOL 

levioosa

*hugs* @ casadera and @mrsconn23

I am not feeling work today. I walked in and somehow a stupid tiger mosquito was in my office, which I was then too slow to kill so I anticipate finding a million ankle bites when I get home tonight. West Nile here I come. 

Other than that there is a California Native American Day event nearby that I’m going to try to attend after work. We have Grandma’s birthday lunch on Sunday and then I think H and I might have a little date night since we both have Monday off. 

charlotte989875

Other than family pictures on Sunday we don’t really have much planned for the weekend. We were going to start potty training but we basically didn’t get things ready in time so we’ll do it in 2 weeks. 

I have a WWTKD. 

So my niece has autism. My sister moved houses to be in a different school district last year because she would be put in a higher needs class and they wanted her in a traditional class with an IEP. so that worked for last year. 

But now she has a new teacher and it’s not going well. The teacher has some older school methodologies (at least according to my niece) and they are struggling. Niece has anxiety and is worried about the class and tells my sister & BIL that the teachers spends so much time talking about what they should be doing or misbehaving. Sis and BIL don’t like the school psychologist, don’t think they’re doing enough to help niece, and want her in a different class. Fine. 

Here’s where I’m concerned. They’re just keeping niece out of school. She went one day this week. They’re not sending her until there’s a resolution with the district (there are no classes for kids with special needs open in her elementary but there are at two other schools but it’s a process to do that I guess). So she’s just not going. And sis and BIL just keep saying the district doesn’t care to help her and they don’t understand kids like her, and the school isn’t good enough (it’s one of the top in the area), and basically everyone else is doing everything wrong. 

I’m sure my role is just to be supportive and listen, but it’s hard. They’re taking such a hard line, and keeping her out of school entirely can’t be good for her (or for them. I assume at some point someone else gets involved if you’re not sending your 6 year old to school and not home schooling them). So WWTKD? Nothing? Watch the disaster? I feel so awful for my niece. 

Casadena

oh @charlotte989875 that's heartbreaking and really really hard. I think so much of it depends on your relationship with your sister. I would personally have a really hard time doing nothing and holding my tongue - it's insane to me to keep a kid out of school for these reasons (although i don't have personal experience with a special needs child like this, so maybe that's too hard a line the other way).

I understand that every parent thinks their kid is special and some kids definitely need more specific attention/processes/etc than others BUT when you pull a kid out of a district in favor of a traditional classroom+IEP i think it's reasonable to expect that you're kid will not be catered to in the same way they would in a higher needs room. There's only so much a teacher can do. I'm sure you've though through all this and I absolutely don't want to come across as too judgy of your sisters choices even though I do not understand them at all. 

All of this to say, I would absolutely say something, i couldn't not. 

banana468

So...your sister and brother are likely going to face the state at some point if their approach is active truancy.

I'm on another chat board where there are a group of women my age and one mom has a daughter close in age with Chiquita who has an IEP as she has down syndrome.  In that household they hired an advocate for their child and the advocate has the job of pushing the school and possibly the local school system if the teachers and administrators are not meeting the needs explicitly stated for their daughter.  

If your sister is financially stable then I'd start with the doctors who have diagnosed your niece's autism and then ask THEM for recommendations of attorneys or other advocates that your sister can pay directly and then their sole responsibility is to know the system and advise on the best course of action.

Not educating your niece is only going to set her up to be academically behind her peers but may also have them in a different kind of adversarial position  if their child isn't meeting the attendance requirements. 

ETA - you and your sister are close so I'd speak up and would talk to her and...I'd likely do what I advised.  Then you can kind of wash your hands of the concept but she's likely feeling very protective of her daughter (BELIEVE me - I'm feeling quite similar this year) but that approach isn't helping.

STARMOON44

charlotte989875 said:

Other than family pictures on Sunday we don’t really have much planned for the weekend. We were going to start potty training but we basically didn’t get things ready in time so we’ll do it in 2 weeks. 

I have a WWTKD. 

So my niece has autism. My sister moved houses to be in a different school district last year because she would be put in a higher needs class and they wanted her in a traditional class with an IEP. so that worked for last year. 

But now she has a new teacher and it’s not going well. The teacher has some older school methodologies (at least according to my niece) and they are struggling. Niece has anxiety and is worried about the class and tells my sister & BIL that the teachers spends so much time talking about what they should be doing or misbehaving. Sis and BIL don’t like the school psychologist, don’t think they’re doing enough to help niece, and want her in a different class. Fine. 

Here’s where I’m concerned. They’re just keeping niece out of school. She went one day this week. They’re not sending her until there’s a resolution with the district (there are no classes for kids with special needs open in her elementary but there are at two other schools but it’s a process to do that I guess). So she’s just not going. And sis and BIL just keep saying the district doesn’t care to help her and they don’t understand kids like her, and the school isn’t good enough (it’s one of the top in the area), and basically everyone else is doing everything wrong. 

I’m sure my role is just to be supportive and listen, but it’s hard. They’re taking such a hard line, and keeping her out of school entirely can’t be good for her (or for them. I assume at some point someone else gets involved if you’re not sending your 6 year old to school and not home schooling them). So WWTKD? Nothing? Watch the disaster? I feel so awful for my niece. 

Yeah they’re gonna get hit with truancy charges. They need to talk to a special Ed attorney. They have lots of options but this isn’t one of them. 

levioosa

Agree with others. They are making the choice to keep her out and there will be legal repercussions with that. I also have so many other questions. Is niece just hanging out at home during this or is any actual at home education happening while she is out? I suppose they could join an umbrella Homeschool which will be able to help with curriculum and active grades if sister wants to educate at home, but that’s not perfect. If she’s just hanging out at home and she’s falling further behind academically and socially, they’re really doing a large amount of damage there as well. And I totally get it. BFF just decided to “home school” her autistic child and I have some serious reservations about…a lot. 

MissKittyDanger

@charlotte989875 nothing is easy in this situation. A serious talk with the school is the beginning - if they haven't already, I would suggest it. That way the school is aware of how the parents are handling it on their end and maybe the school has a different option.

That's hard though for everyone  

charlotte989875

Thank you all! Seriously you’ve captured everything I’ve been thinking about the last few days. I’m worried CPS is going to be called because of truancy. I’m worried niece isn’t getting any socialization with her friends or classmates. 

Sister & BIL definitely have the means to hire an advocate/ attorney here and I’m a little surprised they haven’t. The doctor they work with, at least according to sister, support what they’re doing and think the school should be following the IEP exactly, think the school is wrong, and that they’re doing the right thing. It’s really tough. 

charlotte989875

MissKittyDanger said:

@charlotte989875 nothing is easy in this situation. A serious talk with the school is the beginning - if they haven't already, I would suggest it. That way the school is aware of how the parents are handling it on their end and maybe the school has a different option.

That's hard though for everyone  

They’ve had a ton of talks with the school, but doesn’t seem like they’re close to any sort of outcome. 

banana468

charlotte989875 said:

Thank you all! Seriously you’ve captured everything I’ve been thinking about the last few days. I’m worried CPS is going to be called because of truancy. I’m worried niece isn’t getting any socialization with her friends or classmates. 

Sister & BIL definitely have the means to hire an advocate/ attorney here and I’m a little surprised they haven’t. The doctor they work with, at least according to sister, support what they’re doing and think the school should be following the IEP exactly, think the school is wrong, and that they’re doing the right thing. It’s really tough. 

The doctor isn't going to face the truancy officer.  

I guess I'd ask your sister what's her long term plan if her child isn't academically testing to pass with her peers?  Is she going to push for her to go to the next grade?    

This is an adult silent treatment and if the ONLY thing they're doing is keeping their kid out of the schools I question their long term strategy. 

MissKittyDanger

charlotte989875 said:

MissKittyDanger said:

@charlotte989875 nothing is easy in this situation. A serious talk with the school is the beginning - if they haven't already, I would suggest it. That way the school is aware of how the parents are handling it on their end and maybe the school has a different option.

That's hard though for everyone  

They’ve had a ton of talks with the school, but doesn’t seem like they’re close to any sort of outcome. 

can they go higher? like school board?

ei34

That's so hard for you to sit by and watch @charlotte989875.  And I feel bad for your niece.  When is the follow up meeting with the school?  Are they unhappy with the IEP goals, are they okay with the education plan but it's not being followed by the particular teacher, or is it being followed but they don't like the way the teacher is executing it?  (No comment on the school psychologist- I live in a top 10 district in our state with a known strong PPS department and the school psychologist who runs my son's CSE meeting each year is a living, breathing Satan...the school psychologist at my school (I'm a sp.ed. teacher) also sucks, and that's me being brief. Even my last school the school psych was the worst member of the team, maybe it's a thing.)  

Your niece's doctor probably won't attend the follow up meeting, some sort of special ed attorney should be hired.  Does your niece have an ABA therapist or some sort of professional either within or outside the district who intimately knows her performance and needs within the school?  My son's Teacher of the Deaf and Hard of Hearing from BOCES always attends his CSE meetings, and advocates on his behalf.  Anyone who works with her in the classroom setting is helpful.  

Unless she's being abused or traumatized in some way I'd urge sis and BIL to keep sending her, what's currently happening borders on educational neglect which I know is not their goal.