"Hey, ya jerks...you could kill someone."

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

My sister (18, she/her) and I (23, he/him) recently joined in on a vacation with our younger cousins, who are 10 and 8. My sister is allergic to fish. It’s not life-threatening, but it leaves her feeling very sick. Our aunt and uncle are wonderfully understanding of this and made sure to check with waiters, food labels, etc., despite my sister already doing so. On the other hand, our cousins don’t believe in allergies. They found it hilarious and amazing that my sister was “so good at faking sick,” because how could she tell there was fish hidden in there? It was all mashed up! The only thing gained from that incident was my sister missing out on most of dinner and our cousins getting a long, hard scolding.

Obviously, this disbelief and negligence is dangerous—not only to my sister but to anyone they meet who might have a life-threatening allergy. In fact, soon after the fish-hiding incident, they tried to hide my sister’s allergy medicine but it didn’t last long before I found out. How should I approach this? Should I let it go because they’re young, or should I wait for their parents to explain the reality of allergies yet again? Should I even get involved at all?

—Concerned Cousin

charlotte989875

Definitely say “hey you could kill someone by doing this” and then continue to make sure the parents know what they’re doing. Sounds like parents handled it well- so keep letting them do that. 

banana468

"Your kids hid life saving medicine from their cousin!  It's serious and severe and next time it may not result in just an illness.  I have to tell you that because of this and the lack of seriousness they have to the situation we have to curb get togethers until they truly understand and promise not to do it again." 

levioosa

I’m gonna slap these kids too. Slaps for everyone apparently today. 

VarunaTT

I understand LW's frustration and anger, but I don't really understand why they are trying to involve themselves.  They just need to report the continued behavior to the parents and continue to let them handle it.  Kids can be a$$holes sometimes and lessons can take more than once to get through their thick skulls.  Until then, THE 18 YEAR OLD SISTER, can make decisions about hanging out with them if she wants.

short+sassy

It wouldn't hurt for the LW to point out when it comes up, that they are wrong and allergies can be very serious and even kill people.  So they keep hearing this and will eventually be old enough to understand.

However, I did find the OP's attitude about these children a bit off-putting.  I know he didn't say this directly, but it was a vibe like "how can these kids be so stupid to not believe in allergies".  Because they're 8 and 10!  They haven't even had their first biology lesson yet.  They have almost no life experience.  I'm sure they and all the kids their age have very wrong assumptions about a lot of things.

But at least for now, they are old enough to understand not to hide someone's medication or trick them into eating food they say they are allergic to (doesn't sound like they did this).  And that should be enough to keep them from harming others, until they are older and wiser.  It sounds like the parents are on top of this and will scold/punish their sons if they do something like this again.   

MyNameIsNot

levioosa said:

I’m gonna slap these kids too. Slaps for everyone apparently today. 

I was thinking something more subtle, like laxative brownies. 

But really, kids get this stuff from somewhere. If the aunt and uncle are really not assholes, they need to be exploring this.