Dear Prudence,
My three sisters and I do an annual trip together. Our parents died when we were in college and we are pretty well scattered across the country. I make the most money so it isn’t hard for me to help out on most expenses. It usually evens out—I pay for airfare and my sister the chef does all the cooking, etc.
Here is where I am digging my heels in. My sister “Bea” is engaged and struggling to connect with her two tween-age, soon-to-be stepkids. We have a sister trip planned to a certain well-known theme park. It is a milestone year for our youngest sister and she has never been—and loves the movies. So I planned to pull out all the stops. Then Bea had the bright notion to bribe her way into the kids’ hearts by promising them that they could come. Bea didn’t run this by me.
And no, I am not shelling out extra money for kids I haven’t even met (not even dealing with the headache if we could even take the kids without their dad). There are so many ways this can go sideways. Bea is now furious with me and taking it out on the rest of us. Apparently, I am controlling and don’t want her to be happy or bond with the future niblings. I still want to do our annual sister trip. I have suggested we get the kids a lot of souvenirs but Bea is not giving up. “What happens when she has a baby? What happens if it is a girl? What if? What if? What happens if the moon blows up tomorrow?” Bea is the baby of the bunch and there is a big age gap. Help!
—Maybe Cancun Again