Dear Prudence,
How do you get over a friendship break-up? My very best friend of 17 years decided last week she needs “some distance” from me and I am absolutely heartbroken. Some context: She is happily child-free, and I have a 5-year-old and a 2-year-old. She’s the godmother of the 5-year-old and worked hard to create a special and deep bond between them (think weekly dinners at our house, trips, cards). I’ve always been vocal and sincere in my gratitude for the effort she made for us and considered her part of my family. We talked every day, about the kids, work, hobbies, books (we founded a book club together), and cooking. She supported me through the throes of my husband’s addiction (he’s sober and doing very well now) and I did the same for her (yes, the exact same unfortunately, although he’s not sober just yet).
She now says I talk about my children too much, am not present enough, and she’s “done discussing it.” We’ve had ONE serious talk about all this before her decision. I know I can’t change her mind or know exactly why this is happening—she claims to be the happiest she’s ever been, but I know her too well to believe that—but I’m just so sad. I’m doing all the right things, getting out of the house, focusing on my husband and kids, and I’m in therapy, but I feel like I’m hardly functioning at all. What else can I do to move on except just wait and let it pass? And also, what do I do when she decides in six months that she had “enough distance”—because I can definitely see that happening?
—Heartbroken But Not How You’d Think