Dear Prudence,
My brother called me the other night to let me know I was going to be an aunt again! Yay! Only, he’d already called me to tell me that a week prior, and had evidently forgotten. He said it was because he was drunk when he called (both times). I live about 1000 miles away from my siblings, so we don’t talk often. During the second phone call, he brought up an email I’d sent to the family last month to let them know I’d been diagnosed with ADHD and that treatment was really working for me. My brother said “It’s like you’re telling me the sky is blue. We all (meaning my siblings, I think) have it. You’re just the only one who takes all those drugs.” I’ve also been open with my family about my diagnoses of anxiety and depression over the years, and have had uncomfortable conversations with my brothers about my decision to seek treatment.
I was upset with him when he said those things, but I couldn’t fit in a response over the phone because he was talking so much, not waiting for responses, and meandering wildly throughout the conversation. Also, I was a little shocked by his tone at the moment, and I didn’t know whether a drunken celebration phone conversation was a good time to put my foot down about how he talks about mental health, especially my experiences with it. Is it too late or just generally inappropriate to try to bring up the conversation again before we see each other in person for the holidays so I can honestly tell him how I feel?
—Sore Sister