Deceased father of bride

knottie91b10a7574eb7dd6

My husband is deceased, and my daughter wants me to walk her down the aisle.  Would it be wrong when the officiant asks, “who gives this woman in marriage?”to say, “her dad and I do. “. She was very close to her dad and wants him to be part of the ceremony in memorium.

banana468

Is that even asked?  It wasn't when I got married.  (Catholic wedding).

It's not a huge deal but I wouldn't say it.  It implies that he's capable of communicated from where he is now.   

That said, there are wonderful things you can say to her to honor him and their relationship. 

maine7mob

I would ask the officiant not to ask this question. I don't think it's usually done these days, but it's better to be certain.

Jen4948

Is your daughter asking you to say this to "include" her father in her wedding? I wouldn't do so. It's acceptable and appropriate to "remember" a deceased loved one on one's wedding day (my mother is deceased), but not in a way that implies active participation as though that person is alive. It can evoke a sense of loss and grief which is out of place at a wedding, as well as confusion as to the "role" of that deceased loved one. 

Some better ways to remember your husband would be:
1) Your daughter and/or son-in-law might wear or carry something belonging to or associated with your husband
2) Music, food, drinks, decorations or entertainment your husband would have enjoyed
3) Appropriate prayers if the wedding ceremony is religious
4) A tribute in a wedding program if there is one
5) A brief, non-lugubrious mention in a speech or toast

knottie91b10a7574eb7dd6

These are all great suggestions.  I do think it would be awkward, so talking with the officiant will probably be best.  Thank you all!