Just defend yourself and don't speculate on anyone else.

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

This is going to be odd, but please hear me out! My friend recently had a breakup with her boyfriend, (his idea), and it was not amicable. I work at the same company as her ex, and normally work from home, except for one day in the office. This is mandatory so, of COURSE, I am going to see him! I have not gone out of my way to talk to him, go over to his desk, or anything. I once had a run-in with him while we were both in the break room, but it was about passing the sugar. I just thanked him and went on my way.

This morning, I had an email from HR waiting for me in my inbox. Apparently, someone has been leaving notes on his car windshield that ask why he broke up with his girlfriend, what she did that was so wrong, and things of that nature. He believes I am doing it as we all park in a garage, which is supposed to be private but the company did not renew the contract to keep it private. I am assuming this has been my friend, but without the security footage, I have no proof. I am not sure if HR knows about the garage going public or not, I only know because I am in finance. What should I do? Toss my friend under the bus? Tell HR I have no idea what is going on but leave my friend out of it? HELP!

—Not Really a Stalker

banana468

Defend yourself.  Be clear it wasn't you.  

If you're OK with opening a can of worms say, "I believe there's footage in the garage that can be pulled to determine who did this." 

mrsconn23

LW needs to settle this with their job. And tell HR that it's now a public garage, FFS. 

And then I'd not be above having a chat with said friend and saying something like, "The craziest thing happened to me at work!" and then tell their friend what happened to them and how their job was at risk because of this whole mess. I'd be interested in the friend's reaction. IDK if directly calling out friend would get LW anywhere, but I think they need to bring it up as almost a warning if they really think their friend pulled this crap. 

banana468

mrsconn23 said:

LW needs to settle this with their job. And tell HR that it's now a public garage, FFS. 

And then I'd not be above having a chat with said friend and saying something like, "The craziest thing happened to me at work!" and then tell their friend what happened to them and how their job was at risk because of this whole mess. I'd be interested in the friend's reaction. IDK if directly calling out friend would get LW anywhere, but I think they need to bring it up as almost a warning if they really think their friend pulled this crap. 

Yup.  Maybe it's also that I'm now in my 40s but I don't have time for people who make such poor decisions that they're out of a true crime novel.  

charlotte989875

FFS tell HR the garage isn’t public and to pull security footage from there. And document when you enter and leave the garage. Don’t mention your friend but absolutely defend yourself! 

levioosa

Uh, if my friend knowingly acted in a way that would jeopardize my job I absolutely not be friends any more and I would tell HR to pull the security footage. 

short+sassy

I don't think they meant it this way, but the way the LW talked about how HR may not know the garage is public made me laugh like it's some kind of corporate secret only they are privy to.  It was just the way I initially read it.  I don't think the LW actually feels like it's a secret.  And pointing out it is a public garage is definitely something they should mention.

I have also never seen a parking garage where someone couldn't access any car they wanted to, by foot.