Wedding Woes

Dinner? Yes. Traveling together? Hell no.

Dear Prudence,

Since quarantine wound down, I’ve been making an effort to go traveling more, sometimes alone and sometimes with a friend or two. I have two local friends who I enjoy seeing for dinner or hangouts, and who keep asking me when I’ll plan a trip with them. The thing is, I do not want to travel with either of them at all. They are both kind of bad at making plans or taking care of themselves (i.e. wearing flip-flops in November and complaining about how cold they are). Whenever they run into even a small problem, they act completely helpless and expect someone else to fix it (i.e. if one of them loses their phone, they say, “I lost my phone” and stare expectantly at you to start looking). This is something I’m fine with when we’re just grabbing food locally, but I would find it incredibly irritating when stuck in a hotel room or on a plane with them. They’ve started getting pushier about making plans, especially if they ever catch wind from a mutual friend that I have travel coming up. Do I just keep dodging endlessly, or should I say something to ease them off?

—When You’re “Monthly Dinners” Friends Not “International Travel” Friends

Re: Dinner? Yes. Traveling together? Hell no.

  • I run across this from time to time and just go with a cheerful “I’m looking forward to my solo trip!”
  • Yup - tell them you'll meet them at a place for a meal but you are happy to do your own thing for the hotel stays. 
  • I want to say to tell them, "Sure!  Plan something for X city or Y city and let me know the details."  Because it sounds like they'd never plan anything so then the LW can keep throwing it back in their court.

    But then, they might follow through and the LW would be stuck.

    I would probably keep dodging them and use whatever necessary excuse for each trip.  Like the LW wants this to be a solo trip.  Or friend A planned the trip and they're just going along.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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