Move out for some distance?

Casadena

After a traumatic brush with death, I decided to take a long overdue look at my life. I quit my high-stress job and went to connect back to my roots. I moved home, have started seeing a counselor, and took up volunteering. My finances are large and stable. I have passive income from renting out my old home and living with my parents. Only my siblings seem to assume I only exist now to be the personal chauffeur for their children. I am doing “nothing,” so I can take my nephew to soccer, my niece to dance, and do all the school drop-off and pick-ups at the drop of a hat. Neither of my parents can drive well but get stressed if I refuse, and then tell my siblings they will do it instead. So I get guilted into going. My siblings know exactly what they are doing.

They never asked our parents for all these rides until I moved in. I am trying to rebuild my life here, and my siblings are just trying to get something out of it. It is straining my relationships with my entire family. I feel I am talking to brick walls.

—Where Is My Village

banana468

You can be clear that you aren't doing "nothing" and that you're not available to do these things.  However understand that there is a perception that you're living (rent free? ) and not gainfully employed so you have time.   

Be aware that there can be the feeling of mutual help here so if everything seems one sided one half of a relationship can feel taken advantage of.  I guess I am curious about what the LW is doing and if the parents are giving their other children the perception that they have all this free time. 

What did the siblings do before they showed up?  

short+sassy

The LW should start day drinking so their excuse can be they are too drunk to drive. Kidding!  But I would be tempted to start making up excuses like that.

I assume the LW has already done this.  But I would sit down with the siblings, without our parents, and be extremely blunt.  Tell them all the driving around has to STOP.  Their kids, their responsibility.  I'm not doing it anymore and mom/dad can't drive very well, so they are putting everyone in jeopardy by not taking care of their own kids.

In reality, neither myself and obviously not the LW would actually want the parents driving.  But maybe the siblings would shape up if they are faced with that threat.  Though it's doubtful.

And that's really the crux of the problem.  The siblings are being major AHs because there are no consequences for them.