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Wedding Woes

You may have to stand down for now if he won't see it.

Dear Prudence,

My husband and I have always had a pleasant relationship with his parents but I’m not close to them. They live a couple of hours away. We make efforts to see them about every two months. We also FaceTime so they can see the kids. For the past six months or so, it’s like his mom has lost her filter. She’s always been sort of old school about politeness. Suddenly she’s blurting out rude things unexpectedly and missing social cues. She also seems to be suddenly very anxious. It’s enough that I’m worried she needs a health screening since this isn’t normal for her. My husband refuses to see anything could be wrong and won’t talk to her or his dad about it. I’m worried and don’t know what to do—I don’t think we have the type of closeness where I could tell her I’m concerned about dementia but it doesn’t seem like anyone else will. My husband is an only child and his mom has always managed all the health and emotional stuff for her household. I don’t know how or if I can help.

—The Daughter-in-Law

Re: You may have to stand down for now if he won't see it.

  • I would try one more time with your husband, when something specific happens that raises a red flag that he’s around for have a direct conversation about what happened and why you’re concerned. If he still doesn’t see it ( or doesn’t want to) you may have to let it go until it gets more seriously. 
  • That's a really tough one.  Because even if LW can convince her H to say something, the parents will still probably just ignore it.

    I wonder if there is a history in the family.  That might be something they could point to and encourage the mom to be tested, "just to make sure" everything is okay.

    It probably is something where the LW will need to wait for things to get worse, before her H or ILs will take it seriously.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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