Can you put your dog up during the party?

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

I am considering inviting my disabled co-worker to a party at my home, and asking her to not bring her service dog. Her dog has repeatedly been too aggressive with my dog—mounting him and nipping at him. This co-worker often struggles to manage her service dog’s behavior around my dog, and previously, when I directly addressed this with her she replied, “He just really wants to play.” This is really challenging to my dog, who has previously been mauled by another dog, so I just keep him away from hers. I’m hosting a party with co-workers and would like to have my dog out to interact with others. Is it OK for me to ask her to not bring her service dog?

—Doggy In Distress

STARMOON44

I wouldn’t do this you’re just inviting drama. Put your dog away or just don’t invite your coworkers to your home

banana468

My senses are up about this but if this is a true service dog I'd be inclined to lock up your dog for the time being.  You're questioning your coworker's needs by asking her to leave the dog home and making it appear that you don't think the service dog is legitimate. 

That can have lasting issues with your coworker in the workplace.  So IMO, make the accommodations needed for the coworker, move your dog while the coworker attends and do not invite trouble. 

downtondiva

I find it strange that a service dog would be that aggressive toward and distracted by another dog - as I understand it, service dogs are supposed to be focused on their handler and not wanting to play while they're "on duty."

But you definitely don't want to get into that with your co-worker. Either find someplace else for your dog to be during the party so he can be kept safe, or don't have your co-workers over at all.

mrsconn23

I agree that the dog, if it's a truly trained service dog, has some strange behaviors.  But one of the things I do know in a limited capacity is that you do have to do positive reinforcement with service dogs too as they are dogs and will revert they aren't reminded.  So she could be a bad service dog owner. 

Either way, you're throwing a bomb into your work situation by asking her to leave the dog home or not inviting her to the party if everyone else is.  If you can't abide by it, maybe you shouldn't host this gathering. 

short+sassy

There's a large misconception in society that service dogs=well-trained.  Some service dogs have extensive training through a professional organization.  Those are the kinds of dogs most people think about.  Those dogs are definitely also trained in obedience and ignoring other stimuli.  Like crowded places, other people, and other dogs/animals.

However, obviously those are insanely expensive dogs that medical insurance rarely covers.  As such, many....if not most...service dogs are DIY trained by their handlers.  Which is absolutely and specifically allowed in the ADA.  The ADA's definition of a service dog is an animal that is trained to do work or perform tasks for a person with a disability.  There is ZERO requirement that they have any kind of obedience training.

However, if a person's service dog is not acting appropriately, they can legally be kicked out of any public place.  Even though normally service dogs are the exception and legally protected to be almost anywhere.

Private residencies understandably don't have any such protections.  So if someone's service dog has a history of harassing my dog, than that dog can no longer be in my home.  Period.  And I sure as hell am not going to banish my dog in MY home into a closed room for hours, just because that person hasn't properly gotten their dog trained to avoid other animals.  Or even to "come and stay" when directed.

This dog's poor behavior around other dogs is 100% the coworker's fault.  And if it makes her world a bit smaller, that's too bad.

So the LW's options should be to tell her coworker not to bring her service animal or not invite her at all.  The LW knows best their company's culture and this individual.  But without that info, I'd lean more toward just not inviting the coworker.  However, if all the other coworkers in their group are invited it could be hurtful and raise eyebrows if this coworker is the sole one without an invitation.  In that scenario, it might be less hurtful to let the coworker know that "it isn't them, it's their dog's behavior".

ILoveBeachMusic

I was not aware that true service dogs didn't have to be professionally trained! I was going to say the same as @mrsconn23 and @downtondiva. DS1 had a puppy in college that was in a service training program. His job was to socialize the puppy and obedience train her until she was old enough to join the service training part of the program. When she was out in public and while training she wore her vest. People were not to touch/pet her and she knew she was "on the job" even as a young puppy. I agree this dog is definitely an issue. I just wouldn't invite the co worker and as others have said depending on the company's culture, not invite other co workers either.

short+sassy

ILoveBeachMusic said:

I was not aware that true service dogs didn't have to be professionally trained! I was going to say the same as @mrsconn23 and @downtondiva. DS1 had a puppy in college that was in a service training program. His job was to socialize the puppy and obedience train her until she was old enough to join the service training part of the program. When she was out in public and while training she wore her vest. People were not to touch/pet her and she knew she was "on the job" even as a young puppy. I agree this dog is definitely an issue. I just wouldn't invite the co worker and as others have said depending on the company's culture, not invite other co workers either.

Service animals aren't required to wear vests either.  But I think that makes it helpful and easier for handlers if the animal has an outward signal that it's a service animal.  And perhaps less questions from management or, even worse, random people.

Plus I know me personally, if someone has a dog near me, I'll ask to pet it.  But if their dog is wearing a service vest, I'll admire the dog's cuteness from afar.

What a neat experience for your DS1.  

knottiedda8f526958e4d07

It's a tricky situation, but your dog's well-being is important. Before you decide, consider having an open conversation with your co-worker about the concerns you have regarding her service dog's behavior around yours. Explain the past incidents and the impact on your dog.
You could also explore solutions together, like training or controlled introductions. In the meantime, if you'd like to help your dog with separation anxiety, check out this article on how to stop separation anxiety in dogs. Finding a compromise that ensures everyone's comfort is the goal here.