Wedding Woes

Evict him from your home and your life, like yesterday.

Dear Prudence,

I recently started dating someone and we fell in love. It’s been six months and he has moved in. He works nights, 9 p.m.- 6 a.m. so sleeps mostly all day. I have asked for $500 for rent, $600 if he can afford it, and help with cleaning. Well, he never cleans, I always have to ask him. Same with rent; he never just gives it to me on the 1st of the month. By the 4th, I’m the one asking if he has it and then he only gives me $200 the next day. He is 33, and I feel he should be responsible enough not to be reminded all the time. He also doesn’t have his own vehicle, so I let him drive mine and I feel like he acts like it’s his. He’s been living with me for two months now. I always buy all the groceries, he never takes initiative to help with that. He just never takes initiative for anything, really. I think I need to break up with him and kick him out, but I’m not sure if that’s right because I do care for him a lot! I literally do everything I can to make him happy. It just saddens me that he doesn’t do it in return. Am I being too rash? How can I bring this up to him? Should I end it?

—Feels Taken Advantage Of

Re: Evict him from your home and your life, like yesterday.

  • Exactly what is it you like about him? If the sex or something else is just amazing and you like that enough you're willing to deal with a moocher, go on with your decision.  But the letter sounds like LW doesn't have something they really like anymore and are now left with a moocher, so yeah, kick him out, ASAP. 

    You can care for someone and know that they're not one you want to be in a partnership with.  I might get angry at my exes sometimes, but I don't hate them, I still hope they're happy and well, like I wish most people.
    short+sassylevioosaei34
  • You're not in love.  You're a free place to live.  Get rid of this relationship and deadbeat tenant.
    ILoveBeachMusiccharlotte989875ei34
  • Sounds like this guy works f/t and doesn't have a car.  I'd be just as concerned with what IS he spending his money on?!?!

    Drugs?  Gambling?  Other women?  An increasingly fatter savings account while the LW struggles?

    They're only 6 months in and the LW is already seeing the writing on the wall.  He's shown who he is and they need to believe him.  He might temporarily change if he sees his meal ticket is about to be yanked, but he will always revert back to his true self.  The LW needs to cut their losses, break up, and work with him on a move-out plan.

    Unfortunately, he still has a legal right to live there and "how long" vastly depends on the jurisdiction.  "Roommate/couple" situations tend to be easier and faster, but he is still probably entitled to at least 30 days.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    MNNEBridelevioosaei34MesmrEwe
  • You were an easy mark, LW. Kick him out and end the relationship. Next time, do not let someone move in with you at 4 months! 
    banana468ei34MesmrEwe
  • What did he do before he moved in with you LW that made you think he wasn't going to be a leech?  I truly want to know.  

    Kick him out and remember not to lose your mind over steady dick the next time.  
    ei34MesmrEwe
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